


Put on Your Own Oxygen Mask Before Assisting Others

by Azure_K_Mello



Series: Point Oh Oh Six [3]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Kid Fic, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Not Iron Man 3 Compliant, Proper Medical Health Care, The Avengers Are Good Bros, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Is Emotionally Health, Tony Stark is Good With Kids, dad tony stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-06
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:33:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23513944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azure_K_Mello/pseuds/Azure_K_Mello
Summary: In the wake of the attack on New York, Tony goes home to Malibu to recover. With a child and a solid base of good mental health care, the events of Iron Man 3 are completely different.Or: Bruce Banner is beautiful. Win is perfect. The ocean is calling. Steve has multiple crushes, none of which will end well. The Avengers are nice people.
Relationships: Bruce Banner/Tony Stark, One-sided Steve Rogers/Tony Stark - Relationship, Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers
Series: Point Oh Oh Six [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1602685
Comments: 99
Kudos: 208





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> At this point, I just think of this story as, "The AU where Tony doesn't hurt all the time."

It felt amazing to be home. The weight lifted off the moment Tony landed in front of the house. He took the carrier off and opened it, holding out a hand to Edwin to steady himself as he stepped out. “Welcome home, Win.”

“Yay!” Edwin shouted, “I hated that stupid house. Let’s go say hi to our bots and then pull on our wetsuits.”

“Solid plan,” agreed Tony. He took the armor off. “Let’s skip,” he said, holding out a hand, and they skipped together up the path to the house. 

The door opened for them, and JARVIS said, “Welcome home, Sirs. It’s nice to be in a space we all own.”

“You’re talking to Bruce in the kitchen in New York, right now,” said Tony, laughing at the idea of JARVIS being localized. 

“Actually, I’m talking to Captain Rogers in the gym.”

Tony put the luggage down, and they almost jogged down to the lab. Edwin attempted to snap his fingers, not having the skill but doing the motions, “Wake up, Daddy and I are home!”

Despite the lack of actual snapping, the lab lit up, screens, projections and bots all lighting up. Looking at the state of the lab, things had clearly been quickly abandoned in place. “DUM-E, U, Butterfingers, did you three freeze just to wake up for us?” All three nodded their parts most analogous to being heads. They had just played along with the show of waking up. “What good boys, thank you.” All three bots came to be stroked and hugged. 

“I missed you,” Edwin clambered up one and then swung himself onto another one. DUM-E scooped Edwin off U and deposited him on top of Butterfingers. Edwin giggled. “Missed you so much. Next time we go to New York, we’ll be going together to my Tower!”

“All new workshop, boys.” They spent a little while in the lab, and Tony said, “No bath tonight. Get your wetsuit.”

Edwin ran upstairs, and Tony took his board off the rack and his wetsuit out of the drawer where it usually lived in his workshop. He took the steps two at a time and then headed out to the pool. He stripped out of his clothes and jumped in, bringing the wetsuit with him. He had found, after years of practice, that putting on a wetsuit in water was easiest. Edwin came down naked, jumping in with his own wetsuit. Tony put on his own suit before helping Edwin dress. Then they went down in the outdoor elevator that cut through the cliff to their private beach. It wasn’t technically private, because California didn’t have private beaches, but it was practically impossible to get there without going through their elevator. “We’re home, Daddy.”

Tony smiled at Edwin, “We’re really home.” he agreed. He went into the beach hut and grabbed Edwin’s life jacket. It wasn’t bulky; a perfectly fitted jacket. He strapped Edwin in and said, “Chin up.” Edwin obediently put his head back and let Tony cover him in sunscreen. “Because of time zones, we have three hours of daylight. We’re gonna surf until we get hungry or it gets dark, whichever comes first, okay?”

“Okay, Daddy.” They waded into the ocean, and Tony put Edwin on the board before paddling them out. The waves were tiny, but they had fun, after a couple of hours of laughing and riding small waves. “Daddy, can we go to El Zarape for dinner?” 

“Of course. Let’s go up to the house.”

They took off their suits and left them hanging to dry in the beach hut before going back up to the house, still wet. At the top of the elevator, they dove into the pool, getting off the sand and the salt. Emerging from under the water and pushing his hair away from his forehead. JARVIS was everywhere, and Tony called out, “J, text Happy and Pepper. Tell them we’re going to head over to El Zarape for dinner.” He dunked himself and scrubbed his hands through his hair, sand had gotten embedded in his scalp from the waves. “Lean back for me, baby,” Edwin did as asked, and Tony washed the sand out of his son’s hair. “Now you smell like yourself: salt and chlorine.”

“That’s the cologne of Malibu boys,” said Edwin, parroting back a phrase he had heard out of Tony’s mouth.

“Yeah, it is.” 

They climbed out, Edwin going to the big pool chest where the towels lived. He dried himself and brought one to Tony. “Here you go, Daddy.”

“Thanks, honey.” Tony dried himself and said, “Okay, shorts and we’ll head down to meet your aunt and uncle.”

They both headed inside and got dressed. Tony went back to the workshop and said, “J, ask Edwin what car he wants.”

“Mustang, top-down,” said JARVIS.

“Good call,” agreed Tony. He moved Edwin’s car seat, getting it strapped in. 

Edwin came down, in a tie-dyed shirt and shorts. He climbed into his seat, old enough to buckle it himself. 

The classic car had a classic stereo, from 1964, too perfect for updating. Sometimes newer was not better, not when the mechanics were so gorgeous. Tony turned on the radio, letting the noise of classic rock wash over them as the workshop’s door opened for them to drive out. He smiled at Edwin in the rearview mirror as they drove the three miles down the shore to the glorified taco shack. It was a favorite place of theirs. Frequently, Tony brought Edwin there in the jogging stroller, running down the beach. But, he was tired and hungry. He saw the limo and said, “I think your aunt and uncle beat us here.”

Inside the tiny building, he saw Pepper and Happy looking at the board. “Hey there, gorgeouses,” he greeted as Edwin rushed to them for hugs.

“I’m gonna blush, boss,” said Happy. 

They ordered their usual meal and took the cardboard trays out to the picnic benches. They caught up on their time apart, chatting and eating, Edwin taking offered bites of everyone’s meals. Edwin started to flag, and Tony said, “I think that’s our cue. I have to put Win down, but how about a drink at the house?”

“Sure,” said Happy as Pepper said, “We need to discuss the Tower anyway.”

“Always work with Aunt Pep,” said Tony.

The rest of the night was easy, they put Edwin to bed together, saying bedtime poems and tucking him into his own bed, surrounded by all his toys. Tony and Pepper had never repainted it, and Edwin had never asked, so there were still streaks. They were beautiful to Tony, marks that showed how hard he had tried for his son. Marks that showed perfection wasn’t necessary to be a good dad. They drank a couple of beers, Tony had a Coke, talking about the future of the Tower, Tony talked about the Avengers.

Happy said, “Are you sure about having them move in? I mean, ‘Tasha and Peg, of course. And it sounds like Banner might be cool.”

“He’s my forever boy, Happy: you’re doing a toast at the wedding.”

“Does he know about the wedding? Or your apparent devotion?” Happy smiled.

“I’m flirting, pretty egregiously.”

“Please don’t get us sued for sexual harassment,” said Pepper.

“I asked him if he was uncomfortable; he said no,” said Tony. “I am checking in. He’s so good to my kid. He’s so smart and really hot. God, he’s going to be so much fun in the lab.”

“And what about Thor and Captain America?” asked Happy. “Do you really want them in your home?”

“They’re not on my floors. Steve makes Aunt Peg happy. I like having people to spar with: you’re going to be here, and I need training in New York. They aren’t in my penthouse. You and Pep and Rhodey have bedrooms in the penthouse, you are in my home. They are just in my building.”

He texted his doctor, asking to see her. He wrote, “Several appointments, please, I need work: I died, and I was scared. Really, truly scared for the first time since Obadiah.”

The woman texted back, “11 am for the foreseeable future.”

He typed quickly, “Thank you.”

Pepper and Happy left, and Tony turned in after cleaning up the empties. He rolled into bed in his boxers and an Iron Man branded tank top. “Night, J.”

“Sleep well, sir.”

He didn’t; he hadn’t since the bomb. Instead, he took a tablet from his bedside table and worked for four hours on new suits before finally passing out.

He woke to Edwin poking his face, as he said, “Breakfast, and work, and then surfing, and grownup doctor lunch, and then work, and then a nap, then playground, then work, then surfing, then dinner.”

“Wow, Win, you mapped our whole day. But we gotta skip the first surfing. I don’t have time ‘cause I have to catch up on work. Will you maybe read me a story while I work then?”

“The next chapter of Little Grey Men?” asked Edwin.

“Yes, please,” agreed Tony. Tony got up and went to the kitchen, boiling them each an egg and making toast and cutting strawberries. They got dressed and went down to the workshop where Tony said, “J, pull up my latest specs for the armor. I want fifteen more suits by the end of the week. What work do I have for the company?” He worked, each hand on a different hologram. Edwin painted on his easel, talking about the paintings he would make for both Tony and Peggy. Tony sent seven different armor designs to the fabricators. He sent four new toys to different Avengers and a new, cooler Rogue wig to Marie. He sent R&D a new model for the phone and said, “Have them run it for bugs.” Edwin was reading the Journal of Advances in Physics, stumbling over half the words and questioning Tony on most of it, teaching himself and learning from Tony and JARVIS as they explained very high concepts as simply as possible. It got to ten-thirty, and he said, “Grownup doctor lunch is going to be brunch,” he found both their shoes and drove them to the office, handing Edwin off to Happy, with a kiss and request for his son to keep his universe safe. 

Then he went to his doctor and told her about how silent it was, how horrifying it was. She listened and retaught him some breathing excises he had forgotten. Then she talked about Prolonged Exposure and Cognitive Processing Therapy. They had done them both before. They both sucked, but they had worked. Then she brought up Narrative Exposure Therapy, which he had done before with JARVIS. “I think NET is best for you this time around.” Then she said, “Sleep?”

“Rough, but Edwin wears me out. I’ve been planning new suits. I put him to bed, tell the people around me that I’m going to bed and then JARVIS nags me about sleeping while I design new suits.”

“How many suits?”

Embarrassed, he said, “I was up to Mark VII before New York. Mark XXI finished being fabricated an hour ago… they have different capabilities. I’m trying to build one that works for space. Just in case… y’know?”

“And when you do sleep?”

“Nightmares, every night. But I’m okay at covering it: Bruce, Edwin, Steve: none of them have called me on it.”

She nodded, “Why is it that you call your son Edwin when speaking with me? You appear to only refer to him as Win with the rest of the world.”

“You and JARVIS,” he corrected. “When I am alone with JARVIS, we call him Edwin.” 

“Why is that?”

“Because, there is a great difference between the public, the personal and the private. Publically and personally, he is Win. In private, when alone, in my head: he’s Edwin. You’re wrapped in so many confidentiality agreements… it’s essentially like talking to just myself because our conversations in this room don’t exist. If I don’t call him Edwin in here, am I really being totally honest with you? I don’t think so. And I think the reason our relationship has worked in the past is that I am completely honest with you.” She nodded. “He’s too little for such a big name, but he is Edwin, he might not grow out of Win, but it’s the name I gave him.”

She nodded, “Okay, thank you for the honesty. If the suits make you feel good, keep building them, make yourself a space one, get it perfect, but keep breathing and know that someday you won’t have to think about breathing all the time. If it helps you cope — if it distracts you — do it.” 

He nodded, “It makes me feel safer. I want to be prepared for anything.”

“If it feels good, do it.” She smiled. “If you’re ready, if you can face it, I’d like to start NET.”

He breathed out slowly, “If I weren’t ready, I wouldn’t have come.”

They talked about it, really, really talked about it, remembering it in far too much detail. He cried, he had several panic attacks. When they finished, she said, “Good, you know your homework?”

“Run through it all again with JARVIS,” agreed Tony, “Have him transcribe it, read it tomorrow morning. It takes the power of the memory away to rehash it a million times.”

“Exactly, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said.

“Thanks,” he replied. Outside Happy was waiting for him, and Tony said, “Hap, aren’t you the head of security now?”

“I’m not your driver, I’m just gonna be taking you to and from the doctor.” 

Happy was leaning against the Mustang, and Tony said, “Did you take a cab here?” Happy nodded. “So, you wanted to back me in a corner? I at least have to drive with you in the car?”

“I don’t know why you hired a driver in the first place when you don’t like me driving.”

“You drive the limo,” Tony unlocked the doors as he sat down on the driver’s seat.

“Y’know how stupid it feels to be a guy who likes driving’s driver?” Happy grumbled as he got into the passenger’s side.

“You were also my bodyguard,” Tony reminded him.

“Yeah, being a superhero’s bodyguard is just humiliating.”

“How’s the new position treating you?”

“Pepper had a creepy visitor this morning. This guy didn’t like wearing their visitor badges. Creepy, would have followed them if it hadn’t been for your appointment.”

“We’ll follow up, come over tonight and we’ll watch the security footage,” offered Tony. 

“That would make me feel better.”

“Okay, that’s what we’ll do. Tonight, I gotta do the horrible homework, after Win goes to bed, but maybe a nightcap.”

“Y’want some help with your homework?”

Once upon a time, he would have said no. Once upon a time, he would have brushed Happy off. Now he said, “Yeah, actually, yeah. Come over for dinner? You can hear your bedtime poem.”

“Sure, what are we having for dinner?”

“I’ll stop by the street market, grab some fresh halibut: no point in living on the coast if you don’t enjoy the fish. Win can enjoy the buskers.” He shrugged, “When I got my schedule this morning, Pepper gave me a light load, thought I would have more to catch up on.”

“You’re tired; she’s worried.”

“I would sleep better if I was exhausted from work.”

“How are you sleeping, boss?”

“Not well,” Tony said, there was no point in lying, not if he was going to take his therapy seriously. “But, hey Mark XXI of the suit is done.”

“Mark XXI?” repeated Happy.

“Can’t sleep, but I can always design.”

“What does the shrink say?”

“If it feels good, do it.”

“Does it feel good?”

“It feels like I’m in control. Win kept throwing tantrums in New York to have some control in that horrible house. Like father like son, I guess.”

“In good ways,” said Happy. 

Tony shrugged, “I’m raising him to be a better man than me. He’s going to be a good man.”

“You became a good man a long time ago.”

“So, you admit that I used to be a bad man?”

“No, boss, just a thoughtless one,” said Happy. “You’re a better man now… less fun.”

“I told you in that maternity ward: lamer. You can’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“You said a nightcap earlier, but you meant hot chocolate,” said Happy with a small smile. 

“I’m already not sleeping; let’s not add alcohol to the problem.”

“I’m going to stay at your place for a little while,” said Happy. Before Tony could protest, he said, “Just a few weeks, not too long, maybe until Edwin Tower is done. I’ll be there, if you need someone at two in the morning.”

Tony could have protested. But, instead, he heard himself say, “Thanks, Hap.” At the office, Tony was greeted with a big hug from his son. Pepper was smiling at them both. Tony directed his words to Edwin though he fully intended for Pepper to hear as he said, “Guess what?” 

“What?” asked Edwin. 

“Uncle Happy is going to come stay with us for a little while.”

“Really?” Edwin grinned at Happy.

“I miss you, bud. Gotta see my boys while they’re in town.”

“Can we have a sleepover in the living room? Please? “

“Not tonight, Win. Daddy and I need a grownup night first. I am gonna help him with his homework from the doctor. But soon. Okay?”

“All okay?” asked Pepper. 

“Everything will be,” said Tony, “I just need a little time.”

“Do you want me to stay over too?”

“No, Pep, one friend is enough.”

“Let me know if you change your mind,” said Pepper. 

Tony nodded, but it was a lie. There was no way he was going to ask her to stay. A few times, Tony had fallen asleep in the workshop, had a nightmare, and scared the shit out of her. He reacted violently when woken, and she couldn’t bear to watch him suffer through it. Tony had almost choked her once. Happy, on the other hand, had no problem with holding him down or clocking him in the face if Tony tried anything in his sleep. That was a comfort to Tony, Happy was as strong as him, not in danger. “Pepper, you’re busy running the company. Happy isn’t doing anything except working a brand new promotion,” he gave a tired laugh.

“Well, as the boss, I am officially making your medical condition Happy’s number one priority.”

“You gave me a light workload,” said Tony.

“Your job is to do exactly what the doctor tells you to do and get better. I need you healthy and on form. Take this time to focus on you. The contractors have the Tower on track. Have fun with Win, work on your suits, tan and do your therapy. Okay?” He nodded, and she kissed his cheek. “With that in mind, what’s your plan for the rest of the day?”

“Surfing,” said Tony, “Working on the suits, playground, we gotta hit the fish market for dinner. I’m making halibut, if you want in.”

“I’m going to lose ninety percent of my home-cooked meals when you leave,” she said, “Yes, I want in.”

“Daddy, can we see the busters?” asked Edwin. 

“Buskers,” corrected Tony, “Yeah, do either of you have money for tipping?” Then, before they could answer, he looked in his wallet and said, “No, never mind, I have hundreds: we’ll use them. Once upon a time, being nice to strangers didn’t do it for me. Now, this is gonna feel great.” He scooped Edwin up and kissed his cheek. “Ready, beautiful boy?”

Edwin grinned. “I was born ready.”

“Do your homework during his nap,” said Pepper. 

“Boss and I are doing that tonight,” said Happy. 

“Do it twice for me,” said Pepper, firmly. “I know your homework sucks, but do it twice for me. I’m asking as your CEO and your friend, do it twice.”

He nodded and turned, “Don’t work too hard, kids,” he called over his shoulder. “See you for dinner.”

They drove over to the market where Tony bought rainbow cookies to share with Edwin as they wandered around, picking up vegetables and new coffee. He and Edwin danced together to musicians and watched jugglers. Each time, when the performers were done, Tony would hand Edwin a hundred dollar bill to give them. He bought the halibut and saw Edwin was flagging. 

“Naptime, I think.”

“In my own bed,” said Edwin with obvious relish. “So comfy.”

“There’s nothing as good as your own bed in your own room,” agreed Tony. Edwin didn’t skip back to the car, energy zapped. He fell asleep on the way home. Tony carried him to his bedroom. Then, as he unpacked the groceries, he started to speak to JARVIS, telling him every gruesome detail of the day, the horror, the anger, the fear. Tony recounted bathroom breaks, all the snacks and how beautiful Bruce was. He went over the whole day, exactly as he remembered it. He had three separate panic attacks in the space of two hours. 

He was still breathing out, gathering himself when JARVIS said, “Sir, Master Edwin is awake and coming toward the workshop.” Tony scrubbed his face dry.

“Thanks for the heads up, J, transcribe it for me. It’ll be more detailed and at least twice as long by the end of the week.” Edwin came in, and Tony smiled. “Hi, honey. How was your nap?”

“Daddy, are you crying?”

“My homework is hard. I’m fine. So, playground, pool or the beach?”

“Surfing, all the surfing, and then we could make a sandcastle if we’re not too tired.”

“Sounds amazing,” said Tony, honestly, “sounds like a perfect afternoon. Do you want a snack before we go?”

“Let’s bring peanut butter crackers down with us,” suggested Edwin.

“Let’s have either some fruit or veggies instead,” said Tony. “We already had cookies this morning.”

“Clementines, please,” Edwin said and started stripping off.

This was the person Tony had missed so badly in New York. This was his chilled out buddy who was willing to compromise when offered alternatives and a reason. Tony grabbed the clementines and said, “Our suits are at the beach, so we’re gonna have to dive into the ocean to get them on.”

“That’s gonna suck, but it’s worth it,” said Edwin.

“We can swim until you get cold, tired or hungry.”

“Even if I wanna swim until dinner?” he asked hopefully.

“Yeah, Aunt Pep has me on light duty.”

They both discarded their clothes as they went to the outside elevator. That was going to be the hardest part of the Avengers moving into the Tower. He had told them that they were welcome to hang out, but maybe he would make them knock because both he and Edwin were comfortable with nudity. The prevailing idea among child psychiatrists was that family nudity actually made children much more relaxed about their own, and other people’s, bodies. When Edwin started asking for privacy, Tony would start covering up but not before then.

At the beach, Tony said, “Let me go in and put mine on first.” He waded in and hissed between his teeth, dunking himself fast before pulling his wetsuit on. Back on the beach, he said, “Not gonna lie. The Pacific Ocean is far too cold, but we will have too much fun once we bite the bullet.”

They had a great time in the waves, surfing and splashing. They took a break for clementines and to visit the rock pools to look at the tiny animals there. They built a sandcastle and then went back into the ocean. They surfed until Happy was standing in a suit on the sand. “Uncle Happy looks funny all dressed up at the beach,” said Edwin with a giggle.

“Let’s paddle back in to see him,” Tony paddled them back to the beach.

“Have you two been out here all afternoon?”

“Not great waves, but still fun,” said Edwin. He ducked into the hut and came out with a bottle of water. He chugged some and then held it out to Tony. “Here, Daddy, we can share.”

“Thanks, honey,” Tony sucked downed the rest. They had an outdoor shower next to the hut. “You didn’t take a bath last night, and I am not going to make you take one tonight, but let’s scrub off in the shower.”

“Y’want me to do anything for dinner?” asked Happy, “I have no interest in watching you shower.”

“If you could turn on the oven, that would be great. Get yourself a drink and relax, we’ll be up soon.” As Happy left Tony stripped them both down and grabbed the shampoo they kept out there. It was The Machine branded; it had Rhodey in the suit on the label. He turned on the water with the footswitch. He got the salt, sweat and sand off them efficiently, giving Edwin a full but fast wash on the beach, not wanting to keep Happy waiting. Tony grabbed towels from the hut and said, “Upstairs, PJs,” ordered Tony as he dried them both. 

“Okay, Daddy. I love halibut.”

“Me too.”

In the house, Edwin went to get into pajamas as Tony seasoned the vegetables. “Is this the literal naked chef?” asked Happy.

“I’m wearing a towel, besides, do you want to eat at a reasonable time?”

“I do. I have also seen you a lot more naked than this.”

Tony laughed, putting the tray of vegetables in the oven. “Let me put pants on.” Then he said, “Happy, thank you for this, it means a lot to me.”

“You would do the same for me, boss,” said Happy, wearing his earnest face.

“I would, but that doesn't make it any less meaningful… y’know Pep is your boss now, right?”

“She’s my boss, but it’s your name. That doesn’t change just because her signature is on my check.” Tony hugged him, and Happy said, “I would really prefer that you wear pants when hugging me.”

“What does it say about our relationship that that’s not the first time you have ever said that to me?”

“At some point, I could have definitely sued for sexual harassment,” answered Happy, without missing a beat.

“I will go put on pants.” He went into his bedroom and pulled on a ratty MIT shirt and even rattier sweats. Back in the kitchen, he saw Happy pouring sparkling water for Edwin, who was wearing Iron Man jammies. Tony set about cooking dinner and said, “Happy, did you and JARVIS gather the security footage you want to go over?”

“Yeah, we can do it after we put Win down for the night.”

“I haven’t heard your bedtime poem in so long, Uncle Happy.”

“Me neither,” said Happy. “Maybe, when you’re in your Tower, we can Skype sometimes so I can hear my poem.”

“I’d like that,” said Edwin.

Tony got down to the work of cooking dinner for his family. He would miss this in New York, but he believed that the move was necessary. It would be good for when Edwin started school, but it was hard when Tony had such deep roots here, deeper than he had ever had before. That’s why it had mattered that Pepper and Happy had bedrooms in the penthouse.

Once, they had been employees who had to be paid very well to have them not quit. Tony had been far more obnoxious back then, a demanding, hard boss. While he’d been fun, he’d been an asshole who a person had to forgive a lot of flaws to accept. Now, neither Pepper nor Happy worked for him and were still hanging around. Tony was under no illusions: he was still sort of an asshole, and part of it was that they had gotten used to him. But, he was a better person than he used to be.

Pepper called from the front door, “Am I late?”

“No, dinner isn’t on the table yet,” Tony called back.

She came into the kitchen and said, “Hello, boys.”

“Hi, Aunt Pepper. Daddy and I surfed all afternoon, and Daddy did his homework while I napped. I don’t like it when he cries.”

“Healing can hurt, Win, it doesn’t mean I’m sad.” Tony smiled at him and said, “Fair warning, Happy, I’m gonna cry. But you don’t have to hold me.”

They ate dinner together, and then Pepper said, “Win, can I have two minutes of Daddy’s time?”

“Let’s go brush your teeth,” said Happy. It always amused Tony to see the gruffest guy he knew being a fun uncle.

Once they were gone, Tony asked, “What’s up, Pep? I can take more work, y’know. You don’t have to baby me.”

“I’m not babying you. I need you in top form for me. You have six weeks before you move into the Tower. You only have six weeks to focus exclusively on your health and personal life. Take it.” She sighed, “Why is Happy staying with you?”

“I’m having trouble sleeping. That’s all. I sleep better when Win is in my bed. But I don’t want to pressure him into my bed. Happy wanted to be here if I need him. I’m fine.”

They tucked Edwin in, telling him his poems. He was cuddled up with his teddy. “Daddy, can I come to your bed later, if I want?”

The horror of the idea that Edwin might be the one to wake him from a nightmare chilled Tony to the bone. JARVIS answered before Tony could, “Should you wake in the night, Master Win, I’ll tell you if you should go to Daddy’s room or Uncle Happy. Daddy might be too deeply asleep to cuddle.”

“Thank you, JARVIS,” said Edwin, rolling onto his stomach.

“Thanks for staying awake, JARVIS,” said Tony.

“For you, Sir, always.”

In the kitchen, he said, “Hap says you had a super sketchy visitor today with a super creepy bodyguard.”

She looked at Happy and said, “Are you sure that it wasn’t that there was an attractive man in my office?”

“No, the smarmy asshat in the suit wasn’t the problem,” said Happy, shaking his head. “His guy was twitchy, kinda seemed to be casing the joint, didn’t like wearing a badge.” She started shaking her head, and he said, “Pep, did you hire me as the head of security because you were throwing me a bone or because you trust my judgment? Something was horribly off about that meeting. Part of it was the fact that smart, rich scientists don’t hang out with sleaze bags like the guy in the lobby.”

She nodded and said, “Okay, JARVIS, pull up the tape. Let’s see what Happy saw.”

The table lit up as the recording started playing, and Happy pointed, “That guy, zoom in.” 

“Oh, yeah, creepy,” agreed Tony. 

“Searching facial recognition now,” said JARVIS.

“Pep, what was the meeting?”

They started to research why Eric Savin, disgraced former Lieutenant Colonel, would associate with Aldrich Killian, old friend of Pepper and guy who Tony once humiliated. None of it lined up. “I’m sorry I doubted you, Hap,” said Pepper. “But complaints against you have gone up two hundred percent since you took over as head of security.”

“Yes, because I demand that they follow security measures. And a guy with the criminal alias ‘Coldblood’ walked into the building without showing ID because he was an associate of the guy on your schedule. Excuse me if I continue to tell off people who ignore protocols. Tell them to suck it up and follow the damn rules. You’re supposed to have another meeting with Killian tomorrow, right?”

“Yeah, I will find a reason to cancel.”

“Time of the month?” suggested Tony.

Pepper blinked at his words. Tony wasn’t sure why he was in trouble, but he knew the look. “You want the only woman CEO of a Fortune 20 company to cite her period as something that stops her from doing business? Really, Tony? We’re going with a vague excuse of an unexpected internal R&D presentation. No one questions the validity of that excuse because everyone knows you have impromptu meetings at your house where you pitch stuff. This is what I want you two to focus on. Figure out what this is, because I don’t want to be caught on the wrong foot.”

“On it,” said Tony.

“But, tonight, we’re gonna do Tony’s homework and try to get him an early night or at least dreamless sleep. He’s on New York time, and Win usually runs him ragged by ten.”

“My bedtime used to be four AM, but, it turns out, getting more than three hours of sleep a night is awesome. I can’t believe you guys didn’t let me in on that secret.”

“Tony, we tried to tell you that for years,” said Pepper. She kissed his forehead and cleared dishes. It was pleasantly domestic; Tony never cleared the table when he cooked for everyone. He had done his part by putting dinner on the table, and Pepper and Happy weren’t guests. “Happy, have a good night, you are with Tony tomorrow. Tony, good luck with your homework: I believe in you. And — I know you don’t like a lot of people all at once — if you want to do your work with me, I’m here to listen.”

“I might take you up on that.” She left, and he considered Happy. “You ready for this? It’s gonna suck.”

“I didn’t come to party,” said Happy.

Tony retold the horror story, replete with three panic attacks. Each time, Happy would coach him through breathing techniques he had learned after Afghanistan. “I kept it together, really together, Hap, for several days after the fact. Now, I am falling apart a continent away.”

Happy nodded, “It’s amazing how far adrenaline and denial can get you, boss.” He smiled, “Hot chocolate?”

“Hot chocolate,” agreed Tony. “I’ll make the good stuff.”

“Boss, I can do it.”

“You use the powder,” said Tony. “Besides, I need to stand up.”

Happy watched him and said, “Y’wanna hate me, boss?”

Tony understood what he meant and sighed, “I won’t hate you.”

“Run me through it again.” Tony nodded but looked at the ceiling, breathing slowly and gathering his strength. “You’re not going to sleep anyway, boss. So run me through it again because this is how you heal.”

Tony nodded as he started to shave chocolate into milk in a saucepan, “Pep and I were drinking champagne at Edwin Tower when Phil came in.”

They drank their hot chocolate, Tony cried and struggled to breathe multiple times. When he finished, he stood and stretched, and Happy said, “Do you think you’ll be able to sleep?” He shook his head sadly. “Then, run me through it again.”

“You have work in the morning.”

“Pepper made this my job. Tomorrow we have to figure out who those guys were. That’s all I have on my plate. Run me through it again.”

Tony took a deep breath and said, “It was nine PM, I had just done the final connections on the Tower. I came inside, Pepper and I opened champagne. Phil came in.” He had two panic attacks, he got to the end. 

“You tired enough to sleep?” asked Happy.

“I’m about to collapse right here.”

“You need help getting to your room?” asked Happy. 

Shaking his head, Tony said, “Thank you, Happy. Thank you.”

“Of course, boss. Win is going to be awake in three and a half hours, let’s go to bed.” 

It wasn’t three and a half hours. Tony felt Edwin climb into his bed after an hour. Then, an hour later, Edwin sat on his chest, poking him in the cheek, “Daddy, can we have blueberries with our egg? I would like blueberries, please?”

“Okay, but, like, in an hour. Jetlag, baby, it’s four in the morning.”

“But, Daddy, I’m hungry now.”

Tony sighed, “Okay, but afterward, quiet cuddles where I get to nap.”

“Deal,” agreed Edwin.

Tony boiled eggs, made toast and washed blue blueberries mostly asleep. He kept Edwin on his hip, inhaling the scent of his son’s clean hair. He kissed Edwin as he prepared their breakfast. “I love you, darling, even at four in the morning.” They ate quietly, afterward, he said, “Win, can we go back to bed, please? You could read to the Iron Teddy or just cuddle with me.”

“I can read silently. I’m liking my book.”

“Yeah, I like Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe too,” said Tony. Edwin brought his book to bed and tucked himself under Tony’s arm, Tony drifted off quickly. After a while, he felt his son leave his bed. Once he was gone, Tony said, “J, lemme know if I gotta get up.” He drifted off and, after a while, he woke up, groggy. “Time?”

“It is six-twelve AM. The weather is seventy-four degrees with light cloud coverage. The surf conditions are good and high tide will be at nine-forty AM.” 

Stretching, he said, “Where is Edwin?”

“The young sir is eating string cheese on the top step of the pool in his life jacket.”

Tony got out of bed, stumbling into the bathroom to brush his teeth. He put on his swim shorts and headed out. He smiled at Edwin, “Thank you for staying on the step for me.”

Edwin smiled and held out the string cheese and said, “Would you like some?”

Tony pulled off a string and said, “Thank you for sharing. You wearing sunscreen?”

“No, because it’s gross to touch,” said Edwin. 

“Fair,” agreed Tony. He took a bottle of it out of the towel chest. He smeared it over Edwin and then covered himself. “Okay, beach boy, low enough SPF for you to get a tan but high enough to stop getting a burn.”

They played together in the pool, and Edwin said, “Why is Uncle Happy still asleep? He’s a boss now, he can’t sleep late.”

“While we’re here, Aunt Pepper made you and me his number one priority. And I kept him awake until two in the morning.”

“Were you partying with him?”

“No, baby, just doing homework for my doctor,” he replied. “We weren’t having fun without you.”

Happy came to the pool at nine and said, “You Malibu boys and your morning swims.”

“Our pool at my Tower is inside,” said Edwin. “Gotta soak in the sun while we can. Come swimming, Uncle Happy.”

“Actually, Daddy and I need to do some work. Do you think you could maybe paint or build some Duplo?”

“LEGO is harder, but I kinda like it more,” said Edwin. 

“Well, you have little fingers,” said Happy. “LEGO are hard for people with little fingers.”

They got mostly dry and went into the lab. Edwin went into his own portion of the lab. Tony and Happy started working on the problem of the mystery men and their mystery plan. It was ten AM when the reports began to come in that there was an explosion at the Chinese Theater and that the Mandarin was taking credit. Watching the footage, Tony said, “J, blow up the top left corner.” There was the man from the lobby. Listening to the news, Tony pulled on a semi-clean Henley from the couch and put in a video call, conferencing in every law enforcement. No one ever ignored a call from Iron Man. Once everyone was on the line, Tony showed them the photo and explained everything they knew. The people listened, paying attention. “If you need a big gun to take on a big gun I can be your pinch hitter but,” he sighed, “I flew into a hole in the sky, and I’m handling my PTSD, I’m doing very intense therapy to be healthy for my son. I have a lot more self-preservation than I used to. Having a baby made me much more of a man. I need to prioritize my health for him. So, to review, Aldrich Killian is definitely involved, I have sent you the information about what he told Pepper Potts, something is super off.”

The head of Homeland said, “Thank you, Iron Man, we have this. And if we need help, we’ll reach out to other superheroes. You get better: the world and your kid needs you. But if I could ask you to do one thing for us?” 

Listening, Tony nodded, having heard the woman’s pitch and said, “Absolutely, Director.” After they hung up, he called the largest network that would undoubtedly be picked up by all the other channels. They quickly agreed to a video chat, and the newscaster said, “Mr. Tony Stark, Iron Man himself, is joining us now from his home in Malibu.” 

Tony muted the TV as he went live, “Good morning,” he said. “Long-time star of your broadcast, first-time caller.”

“I’m being told you have some information about this morning’s explosion?”

“It’s less of an informational moment and more of an observation,” he said with a smile. “I’m listening to all of the channels, and you’re all talking about this video from this man calling himself the Mandarin claiming he did it. But why are you giving so much weight to that? This bomb was not similar to the one in Kuwait. Howard Stark claimed credit for the arc reactor, turned out he lied about that. He never mentioned its co-creator, Anton Vanko. People like to claim great achievements in their field. In the field of what my kid calls ‘bad guying’ blowing up the Chinese Theater — and hurting twenty people — is an achievement. I think the credit you're giving him gives him power that he doesn’t deserve. It makes people scared, he doesn’t deserve their fear. Someone did something terrible, but this is LA, we’re better than fear. We’re smug, self-centered, self-satisfied beautiful people: it’s like New York but with tans, whiter teeth and more vegans. Love it or hate it: this is So-Cal, and we don’t have time for this. We’re Americans; we’re better than fear. Don’t let this bomb scare you. The person or persons behind this bomb hurt twenty people and some architecture. They do not deserve your concern; they deserve your scorn. So, to the people who made the bomb: we’re going to refuse to be scared of you. And to the Mandarin: if you want to be a real man step out of the shadows. You say you’ve going to destroy America, all of our law enforcement is waiting: take them on. Go toe-to-toe with America’s power and see how it ends. After what you did in Kuwait, or what you’re trying to claim you’ve done, you’re already dead — they’re just waiting to collect the body.” Then he smiled, “So that’s it. Everyone in So-Cal, the weather is gorgeous, don’t let a bomb ruin it. And the families of the people hurt, I hope they make speedy recoveries, law enforcement is going to find who did this.”

“Are you involved with the law enforcement effort?” asked the newscaster.

He laughed, “There was this little dustup in New York last week. I don’t know if you heard about it?” She chuckled politely. “I am one solid emotional and physical bruise. I am healing at home. Cops, feds and armed forces are on this. They don’t need me on top of that. I will be surfing with my kid and talking to my mental health doctor. Anyway, have a great day.” She bid him the same, and he disconnected the call. 

He smiled at Happy and said, “Make sure Pep knows and get security on her?”

“What do you think I’ve been doing on my phone? Playing Candy Crush? She’s aware of everything, and she has four of the best, fittest guards on her. She sent out a memo saying that anyone breaking security protocol while bombs are going off will be fired immediately. She also told off everyone who has complained about me: a known criminal sat in our lobby for an hour and a half yesterday because he wasn’t wearing a badge. Pepper's making it clear that she's real angry that I had to run it myself. The head of security having to deal with that is unacceptable because it wouldn’t have happened if people followed the protocols. We’re good. All we need to do is get you to therapy in a few hours. I’m taking Win to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch.”

“Love you, Happy.”

“I love you too, boss.”

“What the hell am I going to do without you in New York?”

“You’re gonna text me and call me when you and Win come to surf. We’re gonna see each other at least twice a month and rack up the text. And it seems like we’ll be Skyping at bedtime a lot.” 

“It’s going to be hard for Win, but it’s the right call.” 

“I agree, boss. That’s why we need Skype.” Tony worked on his suits while Happy did paperwork. Frequently he looked up to watch Edwin, who was playing nicely by himself. 

Having sent a new design to the fabricators, Tony went to Edwin’s area and saw he was walking LEGO people around the Expo. “What are your people doing?”

“Getting their dry cleaning,” said Edwin. Pointing at a waffle stand, he said, “This is a dry cleaner's, but it doesn’t have an inside, just a counter. When we go to my Tower, can we have my town?”

“Of course, Win,” agreed Tony. 

The model had seen better days. Tony had glued so many pieces back together, and he didn’t mind a bit. It was a beautiful toy, and Edwin loved it, used it and occasionally broke it. Toys were meant to be played with.

“So, do all of your LEGO people have dry cleaning?”

“Well, grownup do, right? You and Aunt Pep and Uncle Hap, you all have nice suits and dresses. Everybody gotta get clean clothes, right?”

“Good point,” agreed Tony. “Uncle Happy is going to take you to Chuck E. Cheese for lunch today.”

Edwin lit up, “Thank you, Uncle Happy.” 

“You and Daddy should put on real clothes so that we can hit the road.” 

Tony smiled and took Edwin upstairs and got him dressed, “Did you brush your teeth when you got out of bed the second time?”

“No, but I ate string cheese, and that cleaned my teeth.”

“Let’s really brush them and put on shorts instead of swimsuits.”

He got them both dressed and ready for the world, Edwin in comfy shorts and a loose shirt and a cardigan to be comfortable enough to run around like a looney in the air conditioning and Tony in an AC/DC shirt and jeans. He liked his life best when he didn’t have to be in a suit. “JARVIS, print up the full narrative from the combined sessions of my homework, please.” He swung Edwin over his shoulder and then bounced down the stairs, making his son laugh like a drain. He got them both into shoes and called, “Hap, ready when you are. Can you please grab the notes off the printer?” 

Happy came and looked them both up and down. “What car do you guys want to take?” 

“Mustang, top-down,” said Edwin.

“His car seat is already in it,” said Tony. 

It was nice to drive with Happy in the passenger seat and Edwin in the back. They pulled up to the doctor’s office, and Tony got out and leaned over the door to kiss Edwin. “I love you, and I’ll see you in an hour and a half, okay?” 

Edwin nodded and smiled. “Have fun with your doctor, Daddy.”

“Thank you, have fun at Chuck E. Cheese,” Happy came around the car to take the wheel. “Thanks for hanging out with your favorite nephew.”

“Always a pleasure,” said Happy. 

Inside, the doctor asked if he had done his homework, and he said, “Four times. Once with JARVIS, three times with Happy.”

“Four times?” she asked. “How are you feeling?”

“I cried a lot,” said Tony, “But Happy made me go through it so many times that when we were done, I was so exhausted; I just passed out. That was nice.” He handed her the notes. 

“Wow, this is a much more thorough narrative than I was expecting.”

“Well, it’s four passes.”

She nodded, “Can you handle doing it again?”

“Yeah, I can.” He told the entire narrative, only crying once, and he only had one severe panic attack and two more half panic attacks. 

When he was done, she said, “Tony, that was amazing. By torturing yourself, you are making amazing progress. I want you to do what you’re doing.” Holding out the papers, she said, “I added details that weren’t in this draft. I will see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you, doctor.” He went outside and saw Edwin and Happy. Edwin was sitting on the hood, they both had ice cream. 

“Daddy, we got fro-yo!” 

Happy pulled a container out of the car and said, “Coffee yogurt with peanut butter cups.”

“You guys are the best,” said Tony happily. “And, Hap, the doctor is singing your praises because of my progress.” He perched on the hood next to Edwin and said, “So how was Chuck E. Cheese?”

“I always forget that their pizza is bad. It’s so much fun, I just forget. And Uncle Happy said, ‘No, get the hotdog: the pizza’s bad.’ I got a hot dog after trying to eat the pizza.”

“The pizza is so bad,” said Tony. “How can you forget?”

Edwin shrugged, “And then Uncle Happy beat the top score on Pac-Man!”

“Wow,” said Tony around his spoon. “Sounds like you two had a great lunch.”

“Y’know what the best part is?” said Happy. “I got a raise with my promotion, and this is my job.”

Tony laughed, “And you weren’t making peanuts before.” Then more seriously he said, “But, I mean, you’re going to be up most of the night listening to me talk.”

“Well, my DVR can watch Downtown Abbey for me.”

“Can we go surfing?” asked Edwin.

Tony thought, “Happy has some paperwork. I have to check a few things on the new suits. Then you need to take a nap. After that, then we can go surfing.”

“I have a historical fiction to read,” said Happy. 

“You should come surfing, Uncle Happy, so much fun,” said Edwin.

“Not my scene,” said Happy. Tony ran tests as Happy filled out more paperwork, and Edwin read them The Little Grey Men, swinging his legs as he read from the workbench. All three bots were moving around him, listening to the story and moving closer when he would lean to stroke them. 

Once he finished the chapter, Tony said, “Such great reading, Win!” He held out a hand for a high five, which Edwin happily gave him, “Nap in my bed with me or your bed?”

“Your bed with you,” said Edwin. 

“See you in an hour, Hap.” 

“I’m taking a nap, too,” said Happy. They all went up to bed, Edwin starfishing next to Tony before even falling asleep. 

Tony slept soundly until JARVIS said, “Sir, naptime is over. You should wake up now, or young Master Edwin will never sleep tonight.”

Tony nodded and sat up, He stroked Edwin’s hair, “Baby, it’s time to wake up now. It’s time to wake up and have a little snack before surfing.”

“Surfing USA!” Edwin sang off-key.

“If everybody had an ocean, across the U. S. A.,” sang Tony, Edwin stood on the bed to dance. “Then everybody'd be surfin' like Californi-a. You'd see 'em wearing their baggies, huarache sandals too, a bushy bushy blonde hairdo. Surfin' U. S. A.” 

“I love Malibu. Wasn’t I lucky to be born in my favorite city?”

“You’re quoting Meet Me in St. Louis, and neither you nor Tootie get why it’s funny.”

“Because we’re both lucky?” Edwin guessed. 

“Yes,” Tony swung Edwin up into his arms and said, “J, is Happy up?”

“Up, on the beach and he left your suits by the pool.”

“Let’s bring fruit down to the beach,” said Tony, grabbing the fruit bowl. They changed into their wetsuits in the pool and then went down, Edwin skipping next to him. Tony settled the fruit bowl down next to Happy’s beach chair and said, “Hey, Hap.”

Edwin peeled a clementine saying, “I like that clementines are easy to peel. It’s like an orange you don’t have to work for.” He held out half to Tony. “Here, Daddy, we can share.”

“You’re so good at sharing,” he said, accepting it. They had the clementine and a handful of grapes. Edwin was getting antsy, and Tony said, “Ready, beautiful?”

“Yes, Uncle Happy, scream if you get bored,” said Edwin, parroting a phrase Tony always said when they left Hap on the beach. In the water, they played, laughing, surfing and falling off the board happily. When Tony needed a rest he paddled out beyond the wave break, Edwin rested back against his chest and said, “I’m glad we’re keeping our home so we can come surf whenever we like.”

“They’ll both be our homes. New York for the schools, and the park, and our friends and Nanny. And Malibu for the surf, and Pep, and Hap. We get the best of everything, baby.”

“Four more good waves and then dinner?”

“Sure,” Tony paddled them back into the wave area, and he sang, “The sea is foaming like a bottle of beer. The wave is coming, but I ain’t got no fear.” Edwin joined in. They ended up catching six nice waves before Tony said, “I’m ready for dinner. Let’s order Thai food or something else?”

“Well, I want Monster Sushi, so can we do an all-Asian place so you can have Thai and I can have sushi?”

“The offer of a compromise is very nice, and it makes me happy when you do that. But I’d be happy with Monster Sushi. Let’s check with your aunt and uncle.” They paddled up to the shore, and Tony said, “Hap, Monster Sushi?”

“Sure,” said Happy. “Pepper got here twenty minutes ago, she is in your kitchen.”

In the pool, they stripped off and wrapped themselves in towels. Tony said, “After dinner, mister, you’re having a bath. It’s been too long.”

“Okay, but sushi first?”

“Yes, sushi first,” agreed Tony. He pecked Pepper on the cheek and said, “Let me put on pants. Are you good with Monster Sushi?”

“Love Monster Sushi,” she agreed. “I brought clothes, Happy was insistent that I not be alone until this thing is over with the bomb and Aldrich.” That made Tony pause, and she said, “I’m not going to interrupt your homework.”

“It’s not the homework. It’s… If I have a nightmare,” Tony breathed out, not wanting to finish the thought.

“I’ll let Happy and JARVIS handle it,” she said. 

“Okay, okay, then yeah: stay. Happy is right, it’s safer.”

He and Edwin separated to pull on clothes. In the kitchen, they all pored over the menus, and Edwin said, “If I order too much, will you help?”

“Maybe we can split, what do you want?”

“I narrowed it down to a Belmont roll, an angel roll, a dragon roll, and a Philadelphia maki.”

The sheer amount of food made Tony laugh, “Let’s add a Spider Roll and some egg rolls and an order of edamame. Then we can just share with everyone. Happy, Pepper?”

“Add an order of the assorted sashimi, and I’m happy,” said Pepper. 

“Get a big salad,” added Happy.

“J, y’got this?”

“Yes, sir,” said JARVIS, “because unlike the mansion, I can control this house’s phones.”

“I love not being at the mansion,” said Edwin.

“Me too,” said Tony smiling. They talked with Pepper about the bomb and discussed how it was that Aldrich Killian was tangled up in it. Edwin made all of them crowns to wear out of Duplo blocks. During dinner, JARVIS sent a photo to his phone of all of them laughing and looking good. He frequently did it when he thought Tony might want an image printed. He was damn good at spotting a beautiful photo. He sent it to Bruce’s new number and wrote, “Wish you were here, handsome.” 

Bruce responded with, “That looks so good. I like the tiaras. I’m going to a street fair tomorrow with Steve. I’ll send you pictures of beautiful food.”

“You could just send me a picture of your smile, that works too.” 

“Tony, put your phone down,” ordered Pepper. 

“I just want to let Bruce know that I’m thinking of him.” 

Bruce sent a picture, a smile clearly saying that he thought it was absurd and was just humoring Tony. “Say ‘hi’ for me,” requested Edwin. 

And Tony typed, “You’re so gorgeous it hurts. Win says, ‘hi,’ and Pepper is giving me a look for texting at the dinner table.”

“Skype tomorrow?”

“Yes, definitely.” 

He typed fast, but Pepper said, “Tony, no texting during family dinner.”

“Sorry, Mom,” he said before sliding the phone into his pocket. “Win, we’re going to Skype with Bruce tomorrow.”

“Good, I miss him. And I miss Peter too.”

Edwin inhaled food, having been running around all day, with chopsticks held together with a rubber band and rolled-up paper. There were some foods Edwin hated, but, weirdly, it was stuff like mayo, not spicy tuna rolls topped with eel. He kept yawning, and Tony said, “Are you ready for bath time?” 

“I’m tired. Can I share your shower in the morning instead?”

Tony smiled, “Sure, Win. Let’s get you into bed.”

He picked Edwin up, and Edwin said, “Will everyone please come so I can hear your poems?” 

“Sure, honey,” said Pepper. 

“Your room or mine?” asked Tony.

“My room,” said Edwin.

Tony carried him up and tucked him under his covers, handing him the Iron Teddy. Edwin listened to his bedtime poems, almost entirely asleep by the time his poems were done. They walked out quietly and in the kitchen where Tony poured himself juice. “Pepper, we’re just going to keep going through the story until we pass out. You should go to bed when you’re tired. We’re not running a company.”

He picked at the sashimi as he sat back at the table. “Okay, boss,” said Happy, sitting across from him, “When you’re ready.”

“So, it was after I had hooked up the Tower, and it was glowing, like this beautiful beacon. It looked like Christmas, but with more Win,” started Tony. “That building is gorgeous, and seeing it over the water, on the approach, it is almost heartbreakingly pretty.” He told the story with only two panic attacks and several crying jags. Afterward, he made coffee and took a deep breath. “It was a little after nine PM,” he started. 

When he finished, he made them hot chocolate, and he took a breath. “Tony, you’re torturing yourself. Give yourself a moment,” said Pepper, seeing that he was about to start again.

Feeling like a raw nerve, he said, “Pep, this is why I don’t do my homework with you.” It was snappy. He shook his head, “Sorry, but I need this. Happy gets it. We’ve only been doing this for three hours. We’re going to be going for at least three more. If you want to go to bed, it’s okay. But I don’t want to take a break. I don’t need one: I need to push through. I need this, Pepper. It’s not pretty, but it’s medically necessary.” 

She nodded, “Okay, you’re right. Sorry. So?”


	2. Chapter 2

It took the government two and a half weeks to find out that the Mandarin was a puppet, that the bombs were actually human experiments gone wrong and that Aldrich Killian was a really, really bad guy. Tony stayed at home and got better and better, first getting to a point where he could tell the whole story in his suit and finally getting to the point where he could tell it with easy breathing and without tears in his suit with the HUD off and JARVIS silent. He would tell it with his external speakers on but everything else off. The first few times he did it, he almost vomited in the suit, managing to avoid it only through JARVIS’ intervention. But finally, after five weeks of hard work, he was fine. Happy and Pepper came over for a living room sleepover.

He finished his water filtration system and poured glasses for himself and Edwin saying, “Y’want a glass of clean, potable water?”

Edwin nodded, “Yes, please.” 

Edwin took a sip. Tony waited, and Edwin looked at the glass thoughtfully then took another sip. “How is it?”

“Boring,” said Edwin. “It would be better with sparkles, but it’s fine.”

“Wow, rousing endorsement. I’m putting that on the label: Edwin Anthony Stark says, ‘It’s fine.’” 

Edwin giggled, “It tastes like normal ol’ water.”

“That’s actually exactly what I was aiming for; I’m pretty thrilled you think it tastes boring.”

Then he started selling it at cost to dozens of different organizations. He also put the design online and posted it with, “This patented technology is presented for your use: if you can build it, don’t bother paying us. To Rand Enterprises, Cross Tech, Alchemax, Cord Industries, Oscorp, Horizon Labs, Wakanda Design, Gen Tech Labs and everyone else: go ahead and make it better. Let’s make it an amazing race to the best and cheapest water filtration system ever. The only stipulation that has been put in writing by SI lawyers is simple: what you build off our patented tech must be sold at cost. Everyone wins when everyone wins.” He felt good. 

The day after he put the plans online with the message, he was video chatting with Bruce and Peter. They were finally in the Tower’s labs, Skype was no longer needed as JARVIS was in control of both systems with the latest tech. The lab looked beautiful and inviting. Steve came in and looked at the camera. “You’re supposed to be recuperating. Instead, you got shortlisted for approximately four hundred humanitarian, visionary and inventor awards for a water filtration system.”

“I am only sleeping about five hours a night, and I have been doing nine hours of therapy a day. With cooking and eating, I had about eight and a half hours a day split between my lab and playing outside with my kid, and he likes designing the toys. Pepper took me off all my company projects: I’ve had a lot of free time. Now that I have gotten down to two hours of therapy a day, as of three days ago, I have seven extra hours. I have forty-eight new versions of my suits and a water filter. Green energy-based humanitarian work is my beloved hobby. This is like me saying, ‘Steve, how did you paint something beautiful while adjusting to the future?’ This isn’t work.”

Steve smiled, “Well, congratulations. I’ll let you go back to your conversation. I asked JARVIS to tell me when you were talking just to congratulate you.”

That gave Tony pause. “Steve, you are welcome to be in this conversation. This isn’t a science bro meeting. Bruce said you went to MOMA together. What did you think?”

They talked for twenty minutes about life in New York and Malibu. Tony said, “How is your therapy going?” Steve froze up, and Tony said, “Sorry, that was really rude. I forget how embarrassing and private therapy is at first. When I started, I wouldn’t even let my friends call it therapy. They had to say, ‘How was your doctor’s appointment?’ If you do therapy for years, you will use the topic as an ice breaker.”

“It’s so slow,” said Steve. 

“If you’re doing CPT or NET,” said Tony, “saying it out loud and then reading it works faster than writing it and reading it. But, of course, that means talking about it, which causes tears and panic attacks. I suggest you do what I did the first time around, when I wasn’t comfortable with much human intervention: tell JARVIS, he’ll talk you through the panic attacks and print you a transcript of what you said. And then start over again. That’s what I did for the last few weeks: nine hours a day of talking, crying and fighting to breathe. It sucks, but my God is it effective.”

“Really?” asked Steve.

“Yeah, I’m done with panic attacks and crying. I’m still having some nightmares but not like at first. Definitely use JARVIS.”

“Thank you, Tony. And, thanks, JARVIS, in advance.” 

“Of course, Captain,” said JARVIS.

Edwin came in and said, “I had such a great nap, Daddy.”

“So glad to hear it,” Tony scooped him up.

“Hi, guys,” Edwin said, resting his head on Tony’s shoulder, still sleepy. “Are you all moved into my Tower?”

“Yes, they finished ahead of schedule,” said Steve.

“Is it beautiful?” asked Edwin. 

“It’s beautiful,” replied Bruce. “And these labs are exquisite.”

“Have you started your blood research?” asked Edwin.

“I have, with my gorgeous, safe equipment,” said Bruce. “It’s all very exciting.”

“Awesome. Daddy had three more days of time with his doctor, and then he’s going to move Nanny in and we’re going to come to live in my beautiful Tower.”

“Which reminds me,” said Tony, “Would you mind having Win with you guys while I move Peggy? I know ‘Tasha and Clint are moving in tomorrow, and I’m sure ‘Tasha will take up some of his time.”

“Of course, Tony,” said Peter. “Win and I haven’t gotten to science together in a while.”

“Perfect, thanks,” said Tony. Then he tilted his head to look at Edwin. “Ready for surfing?”

“Born ready,” said Edwin.

“You really were, my beautiful water baby,” agreed Tony. “It was good seeing your faces. We’ll see you in a few days.” Tony shifted Edwin from his hip to his shoulders as they disconnected. “Edwin, Edwin, give me your answer do, I’m half-crazy all for the love of you. It won’t be a stylish marriage, for I can’t afford a carriage, but then you’d look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle made for two,” He sang as he walked up the stairs.

They surfed all afternoon, and for dinner, Edwin said, “Jogging stroller for El Zarape?”

“Absolutely,” agreed Tony. They had had family dinner with Pep and Hap every night since coming home, and Tony texted them after he and Edwin took a quick shower. He gave Edwin long-sleeved PJs saying, “You know it gets chilly in your stroller at night, and maybe you can fall asleep on the way home.” 

Edwin nodded, “Okay, I’ll bring the Iron Teddy.” Tony put on sweats and a thick tank top that the light didn’t show through. The three miles took Tony twenty-five minutes. Happy and Pepper were already at a bench, and Tony toed on flip flops as he stepped from the sand onto the asphalt. “Hi, Aunt Pep, hi, Uncle Happy.” Edwin undid the buckle and went to them. 

“Hi, sweetie,” Pepper. “You’re already in your jammies?”

“Yeah, ‘cause I usually fall asleep in the jogging stroller at night.”

They had a nice dinner, then Tony jogged back down the beach with Edwin, cuddling Iron Teddy. He was dead to the world by the time they got home. Moving carefully, Tony lifted him and carried him up to his bedroom, taking off his sneakers and tucking him in. He took a quick shower and went down to the workshop. He looked at Mark LVII and polished it. His suits had flown into the spaces he had built for them in all of his houses all over the world. With multiples of the suits, he had over three hundred of them now stashed around the globe, with over one hundred different models going to the tower. He felt safe looking at the suit and looked at the designs for LVIII-LXIII. He also looked at the new HUD interface that gave him access to all of them, designed for different purposes, making it so he could call any of them to him. He didn’t want to do anything as big as he had done with the Avengers ever again, but things happened. Now, he had suits for space, sea, giant killer robots, Godzilla, frozen tundra, rainforests and volcanos. He had made suits for everything. He would keep building more when he thought of more needs. He had started the Mark I Iron Legion to help the Avengers, totally wearer-free, controllable by him and JARVIS. So far, the fabricators had built sixty, all of which had been installed on the roof of the Tower. He looked at all the readouts and said, “Beautiful, I am getting an early night because I learned, having a kid, that I love to sleep and — as you know — it’s been a while since I got a good night.”

He spent the next few days fully relaxed between therapy sessions. He cooked and played with Edwin, they went to the movies. It was nice, quiet. Flicking through internet news, he saw a photo of him running on the beach with the jogging stroller. The text from the celebrity news site said that he was a bad dad for having a four-year-old in a stroller and said he was going to make Edwin overweight and lazy. Tony signed into the comment section using StarkConnect, pleased that the internet was so connected so it wouldn’t be hard to prove it was him when he responded.

Typing fast, he wrote, “Anyone who isn’t my friend or my kid’s doctor does not get to comment on our lifestyle or his exercise as seen through a paparazzi photo. All of you mommy group doctors, WebMD psychiatrists and Google-certified childhood development specialists can go fuck yourselves. My son will remain in the jogger until he and I feel he’s done with it.” 

It was twenty minutes later when his phone rang with a text, and he saw ‘Tasha’s number and a message that read, “Don’t feed the trolls, Tony.”

“You know I always rise to the bait, ‘Tasha, also: fuck them.” He got Win up and dressed and brought him to New York in the Quinjet with the luggage along with DUM-E, U, and Butterfingers. They explored their floor, Edwin was grinning and happy and carried around his new Brucey Bear and Gorgeous Green Teddy.

Edwin stood at the window in the living room and said, “Look at our view, Daddy, look.”

“Happy, baby?”

“So happy.”

He gave Edwin a tour of the gym floor and the labs. ‘Tasha and Clint were in the gym and ‘Tasha swept Edwin up in a hug asking him to join her for a dance class later. Tony smiled at his son’s excitement and brought him down to the labs where Edwin almost launched himself at Bruce, “Look at your handsome teddies, Bruce.” Edwin held his new teddies, proudly. 

“They’re awesome. Hulk has them too, such nice teddies,” agreed Bruce. He held open his arms, and Edwin went to him for a hug. “You gonna hang out with us today? Peter will be over this afternoon, he has his last final this morning.”

Tony had some of the Iron Legion bring down the bots’ crates and set them up in the lab. They all whizzed around, enjoying their new space. JARVIS had already uploaded the floorplans into their memories, but DUM-E still knocked into one of the lab benches. He introduced them to Bruce, saying, “Guys, this is the one and only, the genuine Dr. Bruce Banner. Bruce, these are JARVIS’ siblings: DUM-E, U and Butterfingers. They’re stupid, but I love them and I’m the only one who can call them stupid. But feel free to tell them off if they irritate you.” Tony smiled at Edwin and Bruce, “You guys got this?”

“Yeah, go see Peggy and Steve. He got a car down last night.”

“Great, I’m flying the Quinjet down.” He went to Edwin and kissed him. “Where is my universe?”

“Under my skin.”

“And what will you do when I go to D.C.?”

“I’ll look after it for you. Because everything you love and everything worth living for is inside me.”

“That’s right. I’ll see you later.” He kissed him again, “Have fun with Bruce and everyone.”

“Bye, Daddy.” 

Tony went back upstairs and into the new Iron Jet. Turning it on, he said, “J, you here, man?”

“Of course, Sir, exactly where I should be.” 

“Let’s go pack up my aunt, shall we?”

“Sounds wonderful, Sir.” It was a beautifully made plane. Prince T’Challa’s work was impeccable. 

It took ten minutes before he was landing on Peggy’s lawn. In the house, he saw movers, Sharon and Steve moving around with boxes. He sought out Peggy to hug her. “Hey, Peg. How is everything here?”

“I am sitting about like lady muck, everyone has been rushing about. All I’ve done is make tea.”

He smiled and sat next to her, “How do you feel about the move?”

“Excited. I thought I would be sad… Share grew up in this house. But… I miss Daniel, and it’s time.” 

He nodded and leaned close, “Are you and Steve dating?”

She sighed, “I can’t… it’s not a physical problem. It’s… I moved on… I want him to, too. He should have children. He should have a full life. A wife in her nineties… he’s coming to accept it slowly… We’ll always be each other’s first loves, but it’s time for him to find a new love. He deserves that.”

Tony hugged her again, “We’re so excited to have you coming. Win is over the moon, and so am I. Plus, having his friend there will probably help Steve. I should help them move stuff to the jet. The rest of your things will get delivered this evening. And we’ll hang your pictures; you do not lift a finger.”

“I’m not so old that I can’t hang a few pictures, Tones.”

“Not old, just too good for this. You have graduated to being above this.” He kissed her cheek before moving to help move boxes and carefully pack up her knickknacks. He saw Steve holding a beautiful paperweight and said, “Peg has had that forever.”

“Not forever, just since I bought it for her in France,” said Steve with a small smile. It took three hours to move everything to the Quinjet and land back at the Tower. 

“Welcome home, Peg,” said Tony. 

Edwin came running with ‘Tasha on his heels, “Hi, Nanny, we live here now.” 

“We do,” she agreed. “How was Malibu, darling?”

“So good: surf, and JARVIS running the house, and fish and so much Mexican food. And now we’re here and Butterfingers, U, and DUM-E and all my dress-up clothes.”

“That’s lovely, darling. Did you paint a picture for my flat?”

“Yes, Nanny, Daddy got it framed.”

“How lovely of you both.”

“Peter had to go, but he said hi and that he’s graduating summa cum laude and he and Wade have to HSOEFS. He said Daddy knew what that meant. Do you want to see your floor? Daddy put milk and your favorite tea bags and the mugs you sent ahead into your kitchen because even though you’re sleeping here on our floor tonight, that’s your real home.”

“I would love a cup of tea in my own kitchen,” she agreed. Tony, Sharon, ‘Tasha and Steve all grabbed boxes and followed Edwin, who was holding Peggy’s hand and skipping. In the elevator, Edwin hit the button with the SSR symbol. Looking at the buttons, Peggy asked, “Who has the SHIELD symbol?”

“Phil,” said Edwin. “But he’s still healing ‘cause Loki hurt him really, really bad.”

She looked at all the buttons with their symbols and said, “Look at all the superheroes we’re living with.”

“Yeah, but Thor is off-planet ‘cause he’s an alien, and that’s awesome.”

Peggy smiled, “They say you can keep healthy, and with a better, clearer mind with excitement in your life; I think you are going to have me around for a long time.”

The elevator stopped at Peggy’s floor, and JARVIS said, “Director Sousa, the doors will open with your thumbprint or command.” She pressed her thumb to the pad, and the door opened into her living room, “Welcome home, Ma’am.”

“Thank you, JARVIS.” The place was painted in the colors she had picked, some of her furniture was already in place. Edwin’s painting was framed. She exclaimed over it appropriately as Tony boiled the kettle. 

After a couple of minutes, JARVIS said, “Director Sousa, Agent Barton is at your door.”

“Yes, JARVIS, please let him in,” she replied. The elevator door opened, and she grinned, “Clint.”

“Peggy, how are you?” he came and hugged her. 

“I’m good, it’s been too long,” she said.

“I didn’t know you knew each other,” said Tony.

“Phil brought me in, but Peggy did all evals.”

“Peg, you were the director, why were you doing a nineteen-year-old’s evals?” asked Tony.

“He was interesting, and I was in charge so I could do what I liked,” she said and patted Clint’s cheek. “You alright after all that Loki horribleness?”

“I’m okay.” 

They toured the floor, looking at the rooms and the views. Sharon’s bedroom and study were all set up with new furniture. She dropped her overnight bag onto her bed. “I love my room, Tones.” A cleaning robot zipped out from under her bed. “And it’s a bedroom I don’t have to clean.”

“We’re a busy group between avenging, sciencing, learning, working, playing and chilling, we don’t have time for cleaning.” 

They looked at the third bedroom with its kitchenette and sitting room, and Edwin said, “Is Nanny gonna have someone else on her floor? Why wouldn’t they use the big kitchen?”

“Well, darling, it’s for if I get sick and need a nurse to live with me. Sometimes old people need a lot of help, and this makes it so I could stay at home,” explained Peggy. “Right now, this kitchen just gives your Aunt Share a place to slink away to to drink coffee without listening to me witter early in the morning.”

Sharon laughed and said, “I like your wittering, Peg, I miss it when I’m on long missions.”

Peggy and Edwin were clearly flagging, and Tony said, “I think it’s nap time.”

“Win, would you like to nap with me?” asked Peggy. 

“Yes, please, Nanny. That’s a perk of you being here.” Edwin smiled at her and took her hand. Tony sighed happily, looking at them. 

“All you need is for Rhodey, Happy and Pepper to move in, and the family will all be under one roof,” said Peggy.

“That is my end goal,” agreed Tony. 

After Peggy and Edwin left, Steve said, “HSOEFS?”

“Have sex on every flat surface,” Tony responded. “He’s graduating with multiple degrees with top honors. He hasn’t seen his floor yet, right?”

“Nope, he hasn’t been in the private elevator, so he hasn’t seen their button or floor,” Steve assured him. 

While Peggy and Edwin were asleep, they removed the boxes from the jet. It was later in the afternoon when the delivery guys arrived from Washington and brought everything up. The Avengers worked together to start putting things into their rightful places. 

Edwin kept bringing different teddies around the building. It was a nice day. That evening, Tony put people to work in the kitchen, giving them chopping boards and instructions when Edwin said, “Now that you’re all here, you can see why I hated the stupid house, right? My beautiful Tower is wonderful. At the stupid house, JARVIS wasn’t really everywhere, but here I can say, ‘JARVIS, I would like to have a dance party with my bots, please.’ And now it will happen.” Holographic views of the lab popped up, and JARVIS started playing Waking Up in Vegas by Katy Perry. The bots did their best to keep to the beat, the kitchen lights turned colorful and moved like searchlights and Tony put down the spatula to dance with Edwin. 

They danced through Teenage Dream, and JARVIS said, “I think you have proven your point, Master Win.”

“I love my Tower,” said Edwin with a grin. 

“It is a beautiful piece of engineering and not just because of the award-winning holographic technology that is in every lab and living space.” Tony went back to cooking, accepting things people had chopped for him. 

Looking at the stovetop, Edwin asked, “What are we having for dinner, Daddy?”

“I’m not quite sure about cooking a single dish for big groups, so we’re having Asian chicken meatballs, mashed potatoes and stir-fried veggies,” said Tony. 

“I love Asian chicken meatballs,” said Edwin. 

“Everyone does, and that’s why we’re making it for our first dinner in your Tower. I know that you, Nanny, Share, ‘Tasha and I love them so I can’t imagine that Bruce, Steve and Clint won’t,” said Tony. He looked at his stylish dining table that sat twelve. Tonight there were only eight for dinner, but it wouldn’t fit everyone if he had a full house, not even with the breakfast bar. Thankfully it had extra leaves in it that would pop out at the push of a button. After dinner, Edwin was wide awake, and Tony said, “We’re on Malibu time. Peg, you up for a movie?”

“I would love to watch a movie. What about a musical?” she asked, “I’ve been catching Steve up.”

“Mary Poppins?” suggested Edwin, “or are you doing them in a special order?”

“Mary Poppins would be very nice, we’re basically just building Steve a cultural bridge so that he isn’t horrified by the crassness or violence in modern movies,” said Peggy.

“Never watch a Saw film, Steve,” said Tony.

“Too edgy for me, huh?” said Steve with a cocky smile.

“Too gruesome,” said Tony, “for me and anyone with decency. I’m not saying it as a challenge, I’m giving you life advice from someone who has lived the future: never watch a Saw film. Their absurdity is topped only by their sadism. Mary Poppins is a great movie that we can all enjoy together.”

“And we should watch The Princess Bride together,” said Edwin. “It doesn’t have singing, but it’s for everyone.”

“Yes, family films,” said Tony. “There are nowhere near as many all-purpose films as there were back in your day there’s quite a firm line between adult and children films, and I don’t know if you’ll like either.”

“Clint said that Die Hard is a Christmas classic, we watched it a couple of days ago,” said Steve, looking sad, “I think that’s a bad sign.”

“It’s not a bad sign,” said Tony, “just incorrect. White Christmas, Meet Me in St. Louis, Miracle on Thirty-fourth Street and It’s a Wonderful Life are classics. Gremlins, Elf and Nightmare Before Christmas are modern and great. Double-check if Clint tells you something.”

“It’s a classic in my house,” said Clint.

“Muppets’ Christmas Carol is the best Christmas movie ever made ever,” said Edwin firmly.

Clint thought and said, “Yeah, I can’t actually argue against that.”

“It’s singing and Muppets,” said Edwin.

“What are Muppets?” asked Steve.

“Marionette puppets,” said Tony. “And it’s decided, we’re watching the Muppet Movie. It’s a musical. Someone fill Steve in while Win brushes his teeth and gets into PJs, please.” He had unpacked all of Edwin’s clothes while he was napping in the guest room with Peggy. So now he opened the PJ drawer and let Edwin pick. 

“I’m gonna be Scott,” he said, pulling out his Cyclops onesie. He changed quickly and went into his bathroom where his toothbrush, paste and stepping stool were already set up. “I like my Tower, Daddy, thank you for making it for me.”

“You’re welcome, darling, I’m glad you like it.” Edwin brushed his teeth. 

Back in the living room, Edwin said, “Aunt ‘Tasha, we live together now.”

“We do, honey.”

“It’s very exciting ‘cause I get to see you lots and lots. Sometimes you gotta travel because SHIELD Agents go all over the world. But then, when you come home, you’ll get home-cooked meals.”

“I don’t think you can offer Daddy’s culinary skills carte blanche.”

“What’s carte blanche mean?” asked Edwin.

“It means offering it willy-nilly,” explained ‘Tasha. “Sometimes, Daddy wants you and his kitchen to himself.”

“Aunt Pep says Daddy doesn’t do well by himself,” said Edwin.

“Yes, but he’s not by himself when you’re with him,” said ‘Tasha.

“But if I’m good, more is better,” said Edwin.

“He’s not wrong,” said Tony. “What’s the rule about when Daddy cooks?”

“Daddy doesn’t do dishes when Daddy cooks for everyone.”

“Exactly, when it’s more than you, me and Nanny, I don’t do the dishes. And when people help me do the cooking?”

“You still don’t do dishes,” said Edwin. 

“Correct, it’s the four Ds of cooking: Daddy doesn’t do dishes. Not for anyone other than you, me and Nanny.” They settled into their new comfy couch in the giant living room. “Steve, have you been brought up to speed?”

“Puppets for grownups and the puppets have their own personas. They had a variety show on television, and this movie is about how they got to the show.”

“Right, Kermit the Frog has a deep gravitas when he plays Bob Cratchit, and this is a prequel where they are playing themselves.”

“Rolf is my favorite,” said Edwin, draping himself over Tony’s lap and wrapping his arms around the Iron Teddy and Brucey Bear. He only made it halfway through the movie. 

But Steve watched with rapt attention. When it finished, he said, “Gee, that was pretty great.” 

“Right?” said Tony.

“Not everything in the future is as bad as Die Hard,” said ‘Tasha making Clint hit her gently with a pillow. 

Peggy was nodding off against his side, and Tony was happy. He spoke softly, “This is exactly what I meant when I told Fury you need team time: watching a movie and making fun of each other. I’m going to put him down.” He shifted Peggy toward Sharon and said, “Be right back.” ‘Tasha grabbed the Brucey Bear off the floor and handed it to Tony. “Thanks, ‘Tasha.”

He placed Edwin in his bed, on his favorite Iron Man sheets. The Avenger Teds were around him. He said Edwin’s poem on the off chance that he was a little awake. He kissed Edwin’s forehead and said, “You are my whole universe, baby, sleep well.” He went back to the others and said, “You are all welcome to dinner any time, but keep in mind: Daddy doesn’t do dishes.”

“Don’t call yourself daddy when your child isn’t in the room; it’s creepy,” said Sharon.

“Tony doesn’t do dishes doesn’t have the alliteration,” he explained.

“Maybe don’t refer to yourself in the third person,” she suggested. 

“Why do parents do that?” asked Steve, “referring to themselves in the third person?”

“Small children don’t understand pronouns,” said Bruce. “And, when the kid gets older, parents are still used to it. And they’ve built alliterative phrases. I can cook tomorrow.”

“Thank you. Do you want to do it up here? My table is bigger. Fair warning: in my kitchen, I never do dishes for anyone other than me, Win and Peg.” He heard his landing platform start to whirr, and he said, “J, is the platform acting up?”

“No, Sir, The Machine is incoming.”

Tony felt himself grinning and turned as Rhodey landed. “Rhodey, baby, hey.” He walked out to where the man was standing on the platform.

As the man was freed from the suit, he said, “Tones, I’m so sorry. I should have been here sooner.”

Tony just smiled, “No, you were deployed and the whole, AIM/Killian/Mandarin thing.” They hugged, and Tony held on for an extra moment. 

“You were dead, and I should have been here.”

“I was dead for a hot second, and ‘Tasha was here. I had someone covering my back. And then Happy moved in and did therapy with me for, like, seven hours a day. You are my brother, but you are not the only person in my world. I have people. You don’t have to be here every moment.” He smiled at Rhodey, “Y’wanna come meet the Avengers?”

“Yeah, and do you have space for a lodger for a few weeks?”

“Y’wanna help us move Peg in?”

“Of course,” said Rhodey.

They walked inside, and Tony said, “Clint and Steve, this is The Machine: Colonel James Rhodes. Bruce, this is our science bro: Rhodey. Rhodey, this is ‘Tasha’s best friend, Clint, Howard’s best friend, Steve, and the man who may be supplanting you as my best friend, Bruce.”

“That’s not happening,” said Rhodey, shaking their hands. “I’m sure you’re great, but no, sorry, Bruce, no.”

“I’m not actually in the race,” said Bruce.

“That doesn’t matter, I’m going to beat you anyway,” said Rhodey with a warm smile. “A brutal trashing. So, how are the new labs?”

“Gorgeous,” said Bruce. “I don’t have high standards, and I’ve been out of the country for a long time. Then I got dumped into Willy Wonka’s Science Factory.”

“That sounds amazing,” said Rhodey, “I need to do some diagnostics while I’m here.”

“Are you here to check up on me post-death or just for a bed and a lab?” joked Tony.

“All of the above and to see my godlessson,” replied Rhodey as he hugged Sharon. “Hey, Share, been far too long.”

They spent the next couple of days moving Peggy in, and when she was fully settled, Tony breathed out. Peter came in to do some work, and Tony said, “So, Mr. Summa cum Laude, we have to decide where to have your brunch. We have some options, but I think I have the perfect space. If you will follow me, please.” Peter gave him a slightly confused smile but followed him into the private elevator. Tony made sure that Peter didn’t see the button. 

The elevator stopped, and JARVIS said, “Mr. Parker, would you like to say the magic words?”

“Open sesame?” said Peter, sounding bemused. 

The doors opened into the cool young apartment with climbing handholds on the wall and a hammock high up. Peter was looking around, mouth opening. 

Pointing at French doors, Tony said, “Industrial washer and drier for bloody costumes.” He led him to the master bedroom and said, “California king bed and two separate bathrooms because… well, I think it’s needed as one of the people I built this for is a neat freak and the other is a freak show when it comes to tidiness. Both have positively obscenely large tubs and showers.” Then he brought him into the living room and said, “Space for the friends one of my favorite people says he doesn’t have.” He opened a door and said, “Smaller den for cuddling when a guy who is bipolar needs a little more intimacy in a cozy space.” He opened one door to a beautiful study and said, “A study for someone amazing to do all of his papers with soundproof walls so his very messy, very loud boyfriend won’t disturb him.” He opened another door with a handprint keypad, “Biometric lock to keep people out of the,” opened the door, “Armory/training space.” The walls had giant murals, one of Deadpool with his katanas drawn, one of Spider-Man with extra-large, extra-cute eyes and cartoon hearts around him, and one of the two of them on a pegasus unicorn with a rainbow behind them. “Walls so damn thick one of my other favorite people can’t shoot through them. Two guest bedrooms for aunts and possible friends to stay over. Do you think there is anything else I could do to make two of my favorite people to move in? They’d pay rent, it’s not a handout. I just… recently, I had this near-death — well no, I was dead — experience and I want my people close. And Pep and Hap live in Malibu, and Rhodey is in the forces. So, do you think, maybe?”

“Tony, this place is… freaking gorgeous. And Wade, this freaking mural would send him over the moon. But, Tony: secret identity.”

“Okay, can I just level with you for a sec, Pete?”

“Of course.”

“May asked me two years ago if I could keep an eye on your suit and make sure it was stab-proof. Clint said, the first time he met you, that you were Spider-Man the minute you walked out, and it sparked a conversation about the fact that Spideypool is real. These are good people, and May has known for a long time, she only talked to me once she was sure I knew the truth. Everyone knows, Peter, this puts you around superheroes every day.”

Peter sat down on the floor, “Seriously?”

“They aren’t telling SHIELD. They want to be your friends,” Tony sat down, facing him.

“Are you serious?”

“One hundred percent.”

“Huh,” said Peter, he thought and then continued, “different problem: you don’t like Johnny Storm.”

“This is your space, he is welcome in your space. He’s not going to be met with the warmest of welcomes a few floors up, but this is your space. I don’t get a say here. Except, no drugs and no weapons outside the armory: there’s room for a couch, TV and fridge in there for a reason. And the wall climbing stuff can be explained to study partners and civilian friends as an awesome hobby your millionaire buddy is indulging, and the bio-lock means no one can stumble on Wade’s weapons and the murals.”

Breathing out slowly, Peter said, “I got paperwork this morning about transitioning to a part-time junior associate role.” Tony smiled, but Peter said, “It’s a lot of money.”

“Peter, do you know why I like you? It’s your sparkling personality, your willingness to pitch in, your relationship with my son, it’s the whole package. Do you know why you’re being offered a lot of money and a title? Because I think you can do more in twenty hours a week than most can in sixty; because you’re a brilliant hard worker and I want you to get your degrees and join me here full time. I’m making a preemptive strike to make sure none of the other big science and tech companies get you once you’re a fully cooked scientist. It’s not friendship or a handout.”

“Wow, Tony, wow. This would make my commute to school and work amazing.”

“So?”

“I love it, and Wade and I are gonna have to buy a new dining table because we are having that brunch here.”

“Yeah?” Tony allowed himself to get excited.

“I love it, Tony, thank you.”

They stood, and Tony smiled, “Awesome. Hey, try out your hammock.”

Peter crawled the wall saying, “Why did you put in the handholds on the wall?”

“For if you have guests. Or if Wade wants to cuddle with you, and you go up without your web-shooters.”

Peter sank into the hammock and sighed, “Oh, that’s good.”

“I wanted to fully furnish the place, but I was told that that might spook you.”

“It would have spooked me. The California king and hammock are way more than enough. Wade has fourteen million dollars and likes to pretend to be my sugar daddy, so let Wade pamper me and shower me with stuff because he likes spending money on the people he loves. He’ll nest.”

“And then you’ll HSOEFS?”

“Exactly. There are so many flat surfaces in an apartment this large. You bought us a California king,” said Peter. He shot a string of web at the exposed wooden beams Tony had had put in specifically for the purpose and swung down. 

“You guys both seem like sleep spreaders.”

Peter nodded, “We are. I have to tell Wade in person. I’m going to go tell him right now, we can start packing up. We have a bed here. So we can just unpack ‘til we drop. I’m going to go to Target, buy a set of California King sheets and I’ll put them in a gift bag, and when he opens them he’ll be all, ‘Baby boy, we don’t have a bed this big.’ And I’ll be all, ‘We do in our new Edwin Tower apartment.’ And he’ll be so excited.” 

“You guys are sickeningly cute. Let me show you your elevator button. If you get in with people, JARVIS will automatically clear the buttons, but the rest of the time,” the door opened, and he pointed to the panel where there was a button that was half a Spider-Man mask and half Deadpool. “Cute, huh?”

Peter pointed at the SHIELD button, “That makes me nervous.”

“That’s Phil Coulson. He’s asked me for your autograph, he’s trustworthy and he doesn’t report to anyone at SHIELD. He is separate from the Director. JARVIS, how likely is Phil to keep this secret?”

“With Agent Coulson’s history of discretion, I can foresee no problem,” JARVIS replied. “He is an honorable and kind man.”

“See, a computer with a metric shit ton of info extrapolates that it’s safe,” said Tony. “I wouldn’t put you in an unsafe situation. Wade’s going to get some morality lectures from Phil, but that’s going to be it.”

Peter thought and said, “Can you protect May from SHIELD if things go wrong?”

“Not only can I and will I, but Phil will too. And Natasha, and Clint, and Steve. And you better believe that Bruce will go full green and rip the shit out of a government agency set on exploiting a guy who was exposed to radiation. You will not be by yourself.”

“It’s beautiful, Tony,” said Peter looking around.

“Rent is due on the fifteenth, but I’m waving the first three month, as your graduation gift: you’re not even going to be here for six weeks, and — with moving and class and I’m sure a post-graduation trip/sorta-honeymoon stay with May — you won’t be here full time for those three months anyway.”

“You custom-designed a floor in your building, you’re giving me an amazing job, and you’re throwing me a party. I don’t think I should get any more graduation presents from you.”

“You’ve been my intern for years, Pete, now we finally live in the same city. I’d pay off your debt if I thought you would let me get away with it.”

“I’ve come up with a schedule for that. I could defer it until after grad school, but I would rather chip away at it now. With my SI salary, I’ll be able to pull it off. I can do it; I want to do it.”

“I know you can and you will do so way faster with the great job that you’re going to get once you’re even more educated than Bruce.” 

Peter gave him a quick hug, “Thanks, Tony. I should go buy those sheets. I have a timer that is going to go off. Ignore it, I can check it tonight, during a moving break. Because I can check my work any time now.”

Tony grinned but said, “Don’t start overworking: twenty hours a week, just ‘cause you live here doesn’t mean you start working all hours.”

“No, I won’t, but now I can log in for twenty minutes at a time and not be doing huge chunks in one sitting: this will help me a lot.”

“JARVIS, keep a log of Peter’s hours, make sure he isn’t going over and killing himself. I value him far too much to allow him to flame out young.”

“Of course, Sir, shall I lock him out of the lab if needed?”

“Yes, J, sounds solid,” agreed Tony.

Peter smiled, “Okay, I’m going to go buy sheets. You can have yours back.”

“Okay, see you later.”

Peter grinned at him and got into the elevator. Tony followed him, and they both exited at the lab, the lowest floor the private elevator went to. “Wade will want to cook you dinner, you and Win. Are you guys free?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course, we would love that.”

“Cool, so we’ll make sure his cooking stuff and the card table are in the first lot of stuff we bring… we’ll get the station wagon from May. I’m not letting my crazy boyfriend try to do this move with his scooter.”

“You can call him crazy, the rest of us cannot.”

“I say crazy to mean over-excited and eccentric; other people say it to stigmatize his mental illness. There is a difference. Wade is crazy; he is also perfect. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

Edwin woke up from his nap grumpy, and Tony made him a snack while telling him the exciting news about Peter and Wade moving in. 

“Sleepover?” asked Edwin, still not fully awake.

“Not tonight, darling. We’ll have dinner, but they need to focus on moving this evening. Maybe soon.”

The rest of the day was spent swimming until three when Bruce came into the pool and said, “Hey, Win, do you still want to meet Hulk?”

“Yes, please,” Edwin nodded, doggy paddling around.

“Okay, I’m going to go put on some very, very big swim trunks and be right back, green,” said Bruce. Tony thought the other man was warning them to make sure Edwin wasn’t scared. He went behind the changing screen and came back moments later, green and in truly giant purple swim trunks. In his very deep, very gravelly voice said, “Hello, little Win, tiny Tony.”

“Hi, Hulk, y’wanna come swim with us?” asked Edwin.

“Hulk can’t swim,” said Hulk.

“Just come play in the shallow end. It’s fun,” Edwin said. “I’m really good at swimming so I can protect you.” 

Hulk hesitantly stepped down the stairs. But he smiled, “Warm.” He walked to Edwin and said, “Little Win swims. Hulk can’t swim.” Tony thought it was interesting, having talked about parents speaking in the third person, that Hulk didn’t use pronouns. 

“I can teach you,” offered Edwin. “First, you gotta go a little deeper so you can put your face in the water and blow bubbles and see it’s not too scary.”

For the next three hours, Edwin tried to teach him to swim. They didn’t get anywhere, but they had fun. Afterward, when Hulk was flagging, Tony said, “Hulk, can we try something?” Hulk nodded. “Bruce hurts when he changes back.” Hulk snorted, “Hey, you are both my friends, you should be nice to him for me. I wanted to see if, maybe, you having some food and some pain killers while you’re you, it might make it hurt less when you turn into him.”

“Banner stupid.”

“I like Bruce, and I like you,” said Edwin. “And if he hurts less, he won’t have to nap, and we can play. I like you both.”

“Grilled cheeses?” asked Hulk. 

“As many as you like,” promised Tony.

“Six,” said Hulk firmly.

“Six grilled cheeses,” agreed Tony. He got Hulk a big towel, and the three of them dried off. “Let’s go upstairs.”

“Hulk fit?”

“Big elevator, big kitchen, big kitchen chair made especially for you. You have a place in this home: you fit.” They went up, and he pulled Hulk’s massive chair out of the pantry. “Here, just for you.” He pulled out the weekend skillet and said, “Six for Hulk and one for me and Win to share.”

“Thank you, tiny Tony.”

“You’re welcome, Gorgeous Green.” 

Hulk smiled, “Like that. Like teddies.”

“Yeah?” asked Tony with a smile.

“I like the Avenger Teds too,” said Edwin. “Hulk, did you like swimming?”

“Like little Win, like warm water, like tiny Tony, like blowing bubbles.” 

“That’s a lot to like,” said Tony smiling at him, pleased Hulk had enjoyed the pool. “I really liked having you come play with us.”

“I’ve wanted to play with you for a long time,” said Edwin. 

Hulk patted Edwin’s head with one giant finger, “Little Win, so cute.” Hulk ate the six grilled cheeses and when he said, “Hulk tired. Done.” He took a handful of Vicodin and other pills that Tony and Bruce had calculated was, maybe, the correct dosage. “Hulk go. See little Win and tiny Tony soon.”

“Bye, gorgeous, we loved having you.” Tony hugged him just before he turned into Bruce. Bruce hugged him back.


	3. Chapter 3

Bruce breathed out slowly, “Hey.”

“Hey, handsome,” said Tony. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired, but…” he rolled his shoulders, “not bad. I feel fine, not shaky, not sore.” 

“Compared to everyday life and compared to how you usually feel after a hulk-out, how are you?”

“If I’m a ten after a good night’s sleep and a cup of tea, then I’m a six, but usually I’m a one after a hulk-out. So a six is outrageous.”

“I’d like to see if we can get it to an eight. No one feels great after a workout: all the endorphin high is bull, but an eight seems doable. And eight is how we all feel after a workout, it’s just the smugness tricking your brain and your body lying to you. So an eight would be a normal workout. What do you think could help? More food? More drugs?”

“Maybe Tramadol?” said Bruce. “I think Hulk’s metabolism can’t compensate for the drowsiness Vicodin yields.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to Dr. Cho and get a prescription for next time. Are you hungry?”

“No, for once. My mouth tastes like grilled cheese.”

“Yeah, Hulk had six sandwiches.”

“Good,” Bruce nodded. He stretched and said, “So, Win, did you have fun?”

“Hulk’s really nice, and I’m teaching him to swim. He blows giant bubbles, and he pats me on the head with one finger. I like him.”

“Good, I’m glad you two had fun.”

“You don’t remember?” asked Win, seeming disappointed. 

“No, not really, but he’ll tell me more about it in the morning,” Bruce promised.

“JARVIS can show you, if you like,” said Win.

Bruce shook his head, “I think that Hulk deserves his privacy. I don’t try to spy on his life, but I’m happy to hear that you liked him.”

“He’s fun,” said Win. “You’re both fun.”

“There is one thing you might like,” said JARVIS, “I took the liberty of making it a gif. If you and Mr. Hulk agree, I could put it on your new social media accounts?” He offered, and then a holograph appeared of Hulk patting Win with one finger while Win smiled up at him. 

“Thanks, JARVIS, go ahead and put it up with a note about them meeting, or whatever. You know how to do social media, not me. He’s not Mr. Hulk — just Hulk. I know you’re coding tells you to be polite but you’re using the wrong name, there’s no mister in his name. He’s a kid, if you call children by their chosen names, he’s just Hulk,” said Bruce.

“I apologize,” said JARVIS. “I will correct it in my database.” Then he said, “Win Stark spent the morning teaching Hulk to swim. They didn’t get far, but they are now fast friends. #GettingMyLifeOnTrack #AvengersEveryDay,” suggested JARVIS.

“What’s a hashtag?” asked Bruce.

JARVIS launched into an explanation, and Rhodey walked in, hugging Tony from behind even though Tony was sitting. “At some point, you’re going to stop hugging me,” said Tony. 

“Not for a while. Would you mind taking a look at me armor after Win goes to bed?” he asked. “The left hip isn’t functioning correctly. I tried to fix it, but there was sand, and it needs some diagnostics that are gonna take you, me and JARVIS.”

“Of course,” said Tony. “Win and I are having dinner with Peter and Wade, they’re moving in today, so you guys have to figure out your own dinner.” 

“Director Sousa has already told me that she is making vegetable soup, and people are welcome to join her because she has no idea how to make small batches,” said JARVIS.

“JARVIS, can you please ask Steve to bake bread?” said Bruce, “he’s proud of his skills.”

“Of course, Dr. Banner.”

“And ask if I can help him, ’cause I don’t know how to bake very good, and I’d like to.” 

“Well, honey, ‘bake very well,’ not good,” corrected Tony.

“Oh, I don’t know how to bake well,” said Win.

There was a pause, and then JARVIS said, “Captain Rogers would be pleased to have you, but might I suggest getting dressed? Baking in your swimsuit is less than desirable.”

Win tore off in the opposite direction to his bedroom as Tony put the plates in the dishwasher, “Where is he going?” asked Bruce.

“His playroom, so I assume he feels baking needs a costume,” said Tony.

“He has such a full life,” said Bruce. 

Win came back in in chef whites and said, “Bye, everybody!” before sprinting to the open elevator.

“A full life and an outfit for all occasions,” said Rhodey. “You know you’re never getting a daughter-in-law, right, Tones?”

“I might, it just might be that my daughter Edwina marries her,” he shrugged, “I love my kid, as long as he’s a good person, I don’t care who he loves or what pronouns he uses. I would just ask that she doesn’t pick a stupid name; I’m the daddy, I get to choose the name and he would have been Charlotte Maria Ellis if the doctors had identified him as a baby girl. So, if my kid says, ‘Dad, I’m a girl,’ then the answer is, ‘Let’s get a doctor to get you on to the right hormones, Lottie.’ She’s not picking a stupid name. If his penis stays in place, it’s highly unlikely I’m getting a daughter-in-law, but I really hope I get grandkids. If I, a man who could have ‘Two Forms of Protection’ as a middle name, can end up being a dad, so can my probably-gay son.”

“How are you adjusting to being in the Tower?” asked Rhodey.

“I miss Pep and Hap but, other than that — it’s a beautiful high-tech lab with my happy kid: little has changed. The big difference is no surfing. I miss the ocean. But Peg lives here, as do Peter and Bruce ‘I’m Too Pretty to Be Real and Jesus I’m So Smart’ Banner, so I’m good.” 

Bruce laughed, but he saw a dark look between Tony and Rhodey that gave him pause. “We’re glad to have you here; you and Win are making it much more fun,” Bruce said. 

Tony beamed at him and said, “You have no idea how much pleasure it gives me to hear you say that, Dr. Banner. I’m going to go redress and hit the lab for a couple of hours while my kid is distracted. And, can I just point out how easy it is to balance having a kid and running SI? Why was it that Howard could only find time for me to hit me or admire my work?”

“You’re a much better and smarter person that he was,” said Rhodey. “I knew he was a fucking asshole and kind of a loser when I was eighteen.”

“Am I a better dad, or is he just a cooler kid?” asked Tony.

“I knew you when you were fourteen,” said Rhodey, “You were awesome and deserved every bit of kindness that you afford your child.”

“Let me go get dressed,” said Tony. 

The man left, and Rhodey studied Bruce, “We are science bros, and that means something. You’re new, so maybe you don’t understand. If Win and Hank ask where babies come from, you answer. If Peter breaks up with Wade, you march your ass over there with ice cream. If I need math help at two AM, you wake up and double-check my algebra. In return if you get sick, I cook you soup and rub your back while you puke, Hulk gets sad, I do an interpretive dance to cheer him up. You commit treason, I get you out of the country. This is brotherhood. But you screw him over, and I will fuck you up. You don’t have to reciprocate his feelings, but if you hurt him… you don’t have to like him back, that’s fine, but if you hurt him, Hulk won’t win.”

“He’s joking,” said Bruce with a smile.

“He’s really not. He’s just forgotten how to flirt gently because he hasn’t dated for four years. He just said that smart and pretty are your middle names; that’s as subtle as he’s going to get,” said Rhodey. “Say no if you like, date and break up if you like, but cheat or be mean and you’re fucking done. You’re a science bro, so you are family. You date and break up, I listen to both of you and feed you both snacks and sympathy. But, you be mean, and I will end you. Date, dump, keep it to flirting, marriage it’s up to you just don’t be cruel. Science bros are not cruel to each other.”

Tony came back and said, “What are we talking about?” 

“The rules of science bro-ing,” said Rhodey.

“No matter how drunk you are, you have to sober up and check each other’s math?” said Tony.

Rhodey nodded, “In a nutshell. And always back your bro’s plays.”

“Remember when Win was eating his first mashed carrots, and your HUD went dead in the middle of a fight?” said Tony with a laugh.

“Tony, check my trajectory calcs,” said Rhodey, faking breathlessness. 

“Win’s eating food: he likes carrots,” Tony responded with a smile.

“I’m getting shot at check my trajectories,” replied Rhodey.

“I’ve never found a StarkPad faster to check your mental math,” Tony laughed.

“Nothing scarier than when the eyes on a suit of armor become useful instead of cosmetic, and you’re aiming blasters by sight,” said Rhodey, laughing. 

“I look forward to hearing Win and Hank having that conversation, ‘Check my math,’ ‘Okay, but do you think he likes me?’ ‘Dude, I’m X-Manning, check my math.’” He laughed and said, “It’s gonna happen.” 

“Aww,” said Rhodey. “I really hope they use any form of superheroing as a verb.” 

“If Logan and I stay the course, they will,” said Tony. “Superheroing is what you do, not who you are. Okay, I gotta head to the lab.”

“I have a blood sample that’s about to be ready, Natasha needs a vitamin A shot and something is going on with the sample agri sent me,” said Bruce.

“Liking the new job?” asked Tony.

“Loving it. I’m pretty sure Pepper sent out a memo with a list of my degrees, told everyone my title, and said, ‘But ignore the title: he’s a pinch hitter: use him as you see fit.’ I get the weirdest requests.” 

JARVIS said, “Dr. Banner, a researcher has actually asked for a checkup, she’s been coughing up phlegm all morning.” 

“Okay, I’m going to get dressed and come down to the lab, send her up once I get there.”

The rest of his day was easy, he was drowsy but didn’t feel the way he usually felt after a Hulk out. He declined dinner with Peggy and instead ate scrambled eggs naked with a documentary playing on TV. Half asleep, he said, “JARVIS, if Win wakes up and wants to do yoga in the morning, check with me because I feel rough, less rough than I usually feel after Hulk coming out but rough.”

“Of course, Dr. Banner,” promised JARVIS. 

Stumbling to bed, he said, “Is Tony fun flirting or flirting with a purpose?”

“Stark-Banner has a very nice ring,” said JARVIS, “Sir is aware of that.”

Bruce thought and then said, “I destroyed Betty.”

“Flirting doesn’t have to go anywhere,” said JARVIS.

“He’s very handsome, and he’s really nice,” said Bruce. “He’s fun, he’s a good dad, he’s kind. But how much of it is that I like him and how much is it that I like the life he’s enabled me to have?”

“Let’s play a game,” said JARVIS, “Name ten things you like about Sir.”

“He’s kind, funny, welcoming, a good dad, fun, easy to talk to, so smart, interesting, enthusiastic, interested in work around him, good looking.”

JARVIS cut him off, “That was eleven. Now name ten things you don’t like about him.”

“The fact that he’s giving me everything,” he tried to think about more flaws.

“That’s one, Dr. Banner. Ten more good things, please.”

“I like his kid, I like that he likes me even though I have DID, I like that he’s kind to Hulk, I like his passion for toys, I dislike his music, but like the way he dances in the lab, I like how little he cares about being cool behind closed doors, I like how he tries to engage everyone, I like that he built a beautiful, chic modern building and moved a little old lady and a college kid in to make it his home, I like that he’s gentle enough that two people gave me a shovel talk, I like his cooking, I like that his personality is too big, I like that he isn’t trying to make me have a big personality.”

“That was twelve,” said JARVIS. “Name ten more things you dislike about him.”

“The fact that he’s famous: if we dated, I would have to go to functions.”

“You’ve listed twenty-three things you like and two that you don’t. And I would point out that SHIELD pays for your floor just like they pay for the other Avengers and Ms. Potts signs your paycheck. Also, he hates those functions too so, with you as an excuse — the grumpy Avenger hates functions — you would stay for the toast, a sip of champagne, a dance and the amount of time it takes Sir to hand someone a check. Then you would come home and have tuxedo sex. Humans seem to like tuxedo sex, I don’t know why but I do have a lot of data that proves it. Is it an appearance cue? It’s just garments. Dress you people up, and a few hours later, you’re having sex naked save for a bow tie or high heels.”

“My blood, spit, tears and seminal fluid are all radioactive. My urine and sweat are the only fluids that won’t kill someone and that’s not something Tony is interested in. I’m toxic, and that’s not even taking into account my personality.”

“You have been nothing but kind to any member of our household. So you’re snappy with outsiders, Sir sent a man to prison for taking a bad photo of him and frequently tells people on the internet to go fuck themselves while signing his name.”

“You haven’t seen me on a downswing,” said Bruce. 

“No, that’s true. But Sir isn’t as self-confident as he might appear. Howard Stark left his son with problems the world doesn’t see: his fear of alcohol, his fear of appearing weak when in front of a crowd, his difficulty in admitting when he needs help, his worry and insecurity that he won’t measure up for the people he loves. He isn’t perfect that doesn’t necessarily mean he isn’t perfect for you. The same is true of you.”

“My body is toxic,” said Bruce.

“Maybe you should bring that up when he asks you on a date because he is gearing up to ask you on a date.”

It didn’t take long for JARVIS’ prediction to come true. The next morning, Win was in his art studio portion of the lab, painting in a beret and smock. He and Tony were working on Bruce’s blood when Tony said, “Rhodey said he’d be happy to take Win for a night, and I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me.”

Bruce was thrown, focused on his microscope, “Like Chinese or something?”

“Like a date,” replied Tony. “I’ve been flirting pretty egregiously.”

Bruce nodded slowly and pointed at the slide, “My blood, saliva, tears and semen are radioactive. How likely is it that you, a very handsome man, and me, a man who sees how handsome you are, can get through a whole date without at least kissing? And then there is the other math, how much radioactive spit can you swallow before Win’s children never get to meet their grandpa?”

“So you’re saying once we cure you, I can take you out to dinner?”

“If you help me cure myself, Tony, I’ll take you anywhere you want. I might need your name to get the reservation but it will be my treat.” Then he sighed and scrapped slide clean under the glass of the safety cabinet. “That sample is too degraded. That’s the good news: the radiation decays very quickly.”

“What about sweat or urine?” asked Tony.

“Neither are radioactive,” said Bruce. “Which is good.”

“Y’know, I could lick the sweat off your body without kissing your mouth,” said Tony like it was an offer.

“Only prostitutes don’t kiss on the mouth,” said Bruce, “are you saying I can be bought?”

“No, I’m just saying I want to get my mouth on you any way I can.”

“Help me get a clean mouth, and we’ll talk,” said Bruce with a smile. “Maybe our mouths can do some stuff together.” 

Tony grinned, a goofy, charming smile that made Bruce want to kiss him. Win came out of his art area with a painting and said, “Look, Bruce, look, Daddy, it’s a doggie and two turkeys.”

“Gorgeous, Win,” said Tony, “would you please put it on your art table to dry, so it will be all nice for me to hang up? This lab needs decorating.” He smiled at Bruce and said, “J, can you do a sim and show Bruce what a Stark lab should look like?” Projections of the Malibu lab popped up, every wall covered in paper covered in scribbles and paint, “Some of this is from Win’s earlier phase of course. We have more windows here, but we’ve still got a lot of walls for Win to decorate.”

Smiling at the projections, he said, “Some of this is from his Spring period, obviously.”

“Obviously,” agreed Tony. 

Win came back and said, “Daddy, help me, please?”

Bruce didn’t know what he meant, but Tony twirled a finger, Win turned and Tony quickly unsnapped the back of Win’s long-sleeved smock and folded it inside out so quickly Bruce could hardly see the motion. 

“Wash your hands in the Win-sized sink and then kitchen snack or lab snack?”

“Lab snack, and I’ll read to you while you and Bruce work? Fist-icts Weekly came today.”

“Excellent,” said Tony. They were working on the blood in a closed case with build it gloves he was wearing lab gloves as well, he stripped them off and put them into the nuclear waste container and scrubbed his hands, checking himself with a Geiger counter before going to the fridge. “String cheese, Babybel, apple slices, peanut butter crackers, carrots or pudding?”

“String cheese and apple, please. We can share the apple,” said Win. “Daddy, when you work with dangerous stuff, you’ve never been this careful. Is Bruce’s blood very, very dangerous?”

“No, honey, but Bruce designed this experiment. It’s his blood, so I follow his protocols,” explained Tony, cutting up an apple. “Bruce?” Bruce turned away from his work, and Tony held out a slice, “Open up.” Bruce opened his mouth, and Tony popped a slice in. He cut the rest up and put it and an unwrapped string cheese on a plate.

“Daddy, after I read to you, can you fix my nails? I chipped two, and Aunt ’Tasha is at SHIELD all day.”

“Of course, baby. J, can you please text ‘Tasha and ask if I may go onto her floor to get the nail polish?”

“I’ll text her now, Sir.” 

Win climbed up onto a lab stool and then onto the lab table, sitting crossed legged. Picking up a tablet, he said, “JARVIS, can I see my magazine, please?”

“Of course, Master Win.” 

Win munched on his snack as he read to them. Tony stopped him to discuss every sentence, and Win stumbled over many of the words. It took three hours for Win to finish one article. But he actually genuinely understood it. When he was done, Tony said, “Good job, honey, great reading.”

“I liked the article very much,” said JARVIS. “Agent Romanoff says it’s fine for you to go onto her floor.”

“Cool,” Tony scrubbed out, checked himself with the Geiger counter. “Let’s go have a look at Aunt’ Tasha’s polish collection.” He scooped Win up and said, “Bruce, the lab is yours. We’re going to do Win’s nails and watch a movie.”

“Cars?”

Tony sighed heavily, “Sure, baby. Your taste in movies is awful, but we haven’t watched it in three weeks so, sure, Cars. Bruce, if you feel like taking a break, we’ll be scraping the bottom of the PIXAR barrel in the penthouse.”

“Cars is the best movie ever,” said Win. 

Tony shook his head, “It’s really not. It’s not even the best PIXAR movie.” 

After an hour, he wanted a break and said, “Are they still watching the movie?”

“Master Win asked for a facial, between that and picking paint colors. They only started the film twenty minutes ago.”

Bruce went upstairs and saw Win in a white, fluffy kid-sized bathrobe with a cream mask, and his hands fanned out in front of him, purple fingernails and bright red toenails, as Tony fed him cucumber slices. Win smiled at him, “We’re having a spa break.”

“Sometimes Win and Pep have spa days,” said Tony, “he was jonesing for a treatment.”

Win smiled, “Cucumber, please, Daddy.” He opened his mouth for Tony to feed him a slice of cucumber.

“Come watch Cars,” said Tony.

“It’s the best movie ever made,” said Win. 

“It’s really not,” said Tony, “but it’s been Win’s favorite since he was a toddler.”

The movie was terrible, but Win enjoyed it, and Bruce enjoyed watching it with them. Tony washed Win’s face, pausing the film only briefly to do so. Win fell asleep halfway through the movie, and Tony lifted him carefully. “I’m going to put him down, and then I have some generator specs to go through, but I can get back to your project in about an hour.”

“I’ll go out to dinner with you whether or not you fix me by the end of the week, Tony,” said Bruce with a smile. 

“I know, but the faster you have good spit, the sooner I might taste it,” Tony rubbed Win’s back as he spoke. “I’m going to put him in his bed.”

In their separate labs, they kept the doors open and listened to each other’s music as they worked. Tony had a loud, funny phone meeting with Pepper. Win came down in a cape and top hat. Bruce smiled at him, “Great outfit.”

“Thank you, it’s my opera outfit,” said Win. “What are you doing with your blood?”

“Well,” Bruce took a breath, “my blood has something in it that’s not good, so what I am doing is finding a way to isolate that and remove it.”

“So it’s like finding what smells in the fridge?” asked Win.

“Exactly, I gotta find what smells and then find out how to clean the smell out of the fridge.”

“Can I help?”

“No, sorry, Win. It’s like the worst smell ever, and it’s dangerous, but thank you for offering.”

“I could help with math,” offered Win. “I can do multiplication and dividing almost up to three digits… well, as long as it’s a normal number and it doesn’t have a period. And I can do fractions… well, some fractions and some percents, the ones for numbers under a hundred.”

“Wow, Win, that’s giant math,” said Bruce, genuinely impressed. 

“I like it, it’s fun ’cause it’s a puzzle. I like puzzles.” 

“That’s great. Do you want to learn about half lives?” He pulled his whiteboard over to explain the idea and started describing how materials broke down. So they walked through the math together, finding that Bruce’s blood was as harmless as any disease-free blood after forty-one hours and thirty-six minutes outside of his body. “What does this tell us?”

Win thought about it and said, “For forty-one hours and thirty-five minutes, it’s dangerous.”

Bruce held out a hand, and Win gave him a high-five, “I knew you were smart. But, Win, you’re really, really smart.” Win grinned at him, and Bruce thought about his work schedule and said, “You have a really neat playroom, right?”

“It’s got a ball pit, and a climbing frame, and a Wendy house, and my trampoline and it’s bigger than the living room,” He smiled. “Daddy says that if there is a big party, we’ll lock my dress-up clothes so that no one gets drunk and rips one of my tutus trying to wear it. And we’ll lock the door to my house so no one falls asleep there and that we’ll have to get cleaners in ’cause Daddy says a big party plus a ball pit equals someone will pee in the ball pit.”

“Can I see your playroom, or is it no grownups allowed?”

Win smiled, “Can you take a break?”

“Yeah, and I would like to see your playroom.”

Win grinned and called, “Daddy, Bruce wants to see my playroom. We’ll be back,” as they passed Tony’s lab.

“Cool, I’m taking a break soon, so I’ll join you if you’re still up there is a bit. And then fruit salad.”

“Yay, fruit salad!” said Win, skipping to the elevator. The doors shut, and Win said, “Playroom, JARVIS, please.”

“Master Win, your father and I would like it if you were to learn the buttons, which floor is the playroom?”

Win looked at the buttons and said, “PH1? PH2 is where the kitchen and the bedrooms and the comfy TV room are. So is PH1 where the bar and movie theater and my playroom are?”

“Yes, push the button,” said JARVIS. 

Win stood on tiptoes but couldn’t reach, “Stark men are compact. Bruce, will you please push it?” Bruce had waited to be asked, kids liked to try their best before asking for help.

“Colonel Rhodes is doing some serious work at the bar, Master Win. Don’t distract him too much,” said JARVIS.

“Okay,” said Win. Bruce wondered if it was a euphemism. But then the door opened, and Bruce saw that Rhodey had papers spread out all over the bar. Win tiptoed, literally, out of the elevator. He went left, and Bruce followed him.

“Thank you for being quiet, honey,” Rhodey said, sounding distracted.

“You’re welcome,” said Win softly just before opening a door. He stepped in and lights came on revealing a child’s paradise. The walls were painted with ocean scenes. One wall was a giant fish tank with just Cleo. There was a fifteen-foot wide ball pit. A full-sized sunken trampoline took up a large corner of the room. A three-tiered climbing fort had a playhouse built in that could easily fit multiple children and had a balcony and a widow’s walk. The ceiling was covered in tiny pinpricks of light that Bruce realized were stars. Open chests lined the room, filled with dress-up clothes. “Uncle Happy says I’m the nicest spoiled kid he knows. Daddy says I’m not spoiled, I’m just the well-loved only child of a billionaire.”

“May I go on your spiral slide?” asked Bruce.

“Of course: it’s a playroom, it’s for playing. Only rules in here is no shoes in the ball pit and you gotta wear socks on the trampoline. It’s the safest trampoline on the market. Daddy made it. The Maria Stark Foundation can’t figure out how to market it though. There’s not a market for indoor, in-ground trampolines, but the X-Mansion has one now. Theirs is even bigger.”

Bruce climbed the fort and slid down the slide. Win stripped to his underwear and started rummaging through one of the chests. He pulled out a beautiful dress. Tons of all different shades of blue tulle, puffy and lacy. “That’s a really, really pretty dress.”

“Nanny made it two sizes too big so I can wear it longer. I wore it for Halloween. I’m Cinderella.” It buttoned up the back, and he buttoned up some of it, before turning it around, “Would you please button up the last bit?”

“Sure, Nanny made this for you?” They were pale blue satin buttons that fastened into loops of dark blue ribbons. 

“She and Aunt Share made all my prettiest dress-up dresses. That makes ’em better than the ones you can buy ’cause they love me. And you can’t buy love.”

“This is beautifully made,” said Bruce.

“Nanny and Aunt Share are really good at sewing,” said Win. 

Bruce smiled. He didn’t think Win was spoiled. It was amazing he wasn’t, but he wasn’t. He had everything he could possibly want and yet what he valued was his Dad’s time, was love. He had a very, very happy life and was a great kid. “All buttoned.”

“Thank you,” said Win throwing a smile over his shoulder before leaping into the ball pit.

Bruce smiled and said, “JARVIS, may we please have a dance party? But my music, please?”

Neo-folk blasted, and lasers started. Win considered the music before nodding and dancing. Bruce got into the ball pit and started dancing. They were two songs in when the door opened, Tony smiled at them and shut the door. “Bruce, my need for you to get clean blood deepens all the time.”

“Bruce’s music is pretty fun,” said Win. “Come join us.” 

“J, loop the bots in. They love dance parties,” said Tony, kicking off his shoes and jumping into the ball pit. Projections of the dancing robots popped up as the three of them danced together. 

“I do like your Tower,” Tony said to Win. After a few songs, he said, “Fruit salad time?” Win nodded, the music stopped. 

“Tony, I have lived here for weeks,” said Bruce, climbing out of the pit and pulling on his shoes. “How am I only now finding out you have a movie theater? Why do you watch movies upstairs?”

“Because on the couch, I can have an arm around Win and Peggy. Down here, we have big reclining seats that can only fit two people. Turning off the light promotes watching quietly, whereas the couch with the lights on promotes chat. For big movies, for parties, the theater is great, but do we really need or want that for the Muppets?” Tony helped Win with his shoes and said, “Let’s go upstairs, quietly.” Tony held Win’s hand, and they left the room and went to a sweeping glass staircase that led up into the living room. 

Out of earshot from Rhodey, Bruce said, “No, I don’t need it for the Muppets. But there are some beautiful documentaries we could watch on a giant screen. Or E.T. There are things we should be watching.”

“We’re got a conception stand too.”

“Concession stand, honey,” corrected Tony. “We’ve got a soda machine and syrups and a popcorn machine,” Tony explained to Bruce. “It has a vintage concession sign.”

“JARVIS,” said Bruce. “Inform the team and family in the building: tonight, at six-forty five, some form of delivery food will be served at the concession stand to be eaten during a viewing of E.T. because the penthouse has a movie theater and we’ve all been here for a while.” 

After a few moments, JARVIS replied, “I haven’t asked Colonel Rhodes or Agent Barton. Agent Barton is visiting Agent Coulson. Mr. Parker and The Dope-ass Fresh Prince are attending a party to celebrate tomorrow’s graduation ceremony.”

“I can’t get a ‘Bruce’ and Wade gets Dope-ass Fresh Prince?” said Bruce, joking but curious. “How?”

“The name Mr. Wilson genuinely distresses him, to a point wherein he has a limbic system reaction. He picked a better form of address that is still formal,” explained JARVIS. “Captain Rogers asked if we would like to watch Wizard of Oz one night. He missed it when it was at the cinema and wanted to see it. He said he knows about the flying monkeys, but he never saw them.”

“Oh, then update people and let them know Steve wants to see Wizard of Oz. I’m fine with it,” said Bruce. “I haven’t been to the movies in nine years, I just care about seeing something on a huge screen, I don’t really care what we watch. E.T. was the first family-friendly movie that came to mind.”

“It’s only a thirty-foot long screen it’s not that big,” warned Tony.

Bruce laughed, “I’ve been lucky to come into contact with a black and white TV for the last few years. That’s huge. How tall is it?”

“The movie theater actually dips down a floor to the gym. Steve’s boxing studio and Clint’s archery range both back onto it,” explained Tony. He got bowls and said, “Bruce, you want fruit salad?”

“That would be great, please,” said Bruce. 

“It sits forty people,” said Win. “It’s pretty great.”

“JARVIS, do you have our tickets for Peter’s graduation tomorrow?” asked Tony.

“Yes, the school sent Mrs. Parker’s to her house, but the ones for you, Master Edwin, Colonel Rhodes, Dr. Banner, and The Dope-ass Fresh Prince arrived a few hours ago,” said JARVIS. 

“I’m going?” asked Bruce, surprised. 

“Science bro’s graduating college. You don’t have to, but I assumed-” Tony started, and Bruce interrupted. 

“I wasn’t arguing, I was just surprised,” said Bruce. “It’s still weird being included and invited to things.”

Tony smiled, handing-off a bowl of fruit salad, “Science bros support each. Peter is graduating. We’re going to go and hoot and holler.”

“What’s it gonna be like? What should I wear?” asked Win. 

They sat at the breakfast bar to eat. “Your suit and your white and black dress shoes,” said Tony. “First we’re going to go to the science department ceremony and see Peter get his diplomas, all four of them and then we’ll go to the big ceremony where we’ll hear a speech. That bit will probably be boring. But then there is a lawn party with snacks, and we’ll be home by four. And then the next day, we’re having a brunch on their floor, which will be fun.” 

“So happy he and Wade live here,” said Win, and Tony grinned at him. Bruce’s heart clenched, as it always did when looking at them.


	4. Chapter 4

It was nice here. His giant apartment was beautifully, comfortably furnished. It wasn’t overwhelming. But outside… he looked at the ring box and said, “How stupid is this, JARVIS?”

“Captain Rogers,” the computer sighed, “Sir, let me get a human involved. I have told you thirty-nine times just how bad of an idea this is, and you won’t listen. Let me call a human so you can look someone in the eye when they tell you not to do this.”

Steve breathed out, “But what if it’s a good idea?”

“Let me call Sir. He’ll tell you not to do this. He’s your closest friend here who knows Director Sousa. Or I could put in a call to Staff Sergeant Wilson? I feel a human would hold more weight than I. And I am half inclined to lock your elevator door to stop this. This is a very bad idea.”

Steve stared at the ring and said, “Fine, call Tony. Thanks for helping, JARVIS.”

“Of course, Captain. I want my people happy. You’re one of us now.”

The elevator door opened, and Tony stepped through, saying, “JARVIS says you’re emotionally compromised, and I know you can’t get drunk, so I bought doughnuts. They’re only supermarket doughnuts, but I find speed matters when JARVIS says emotionally compromised. What’s going on? Are you about to kill yourself? Please don’t kill yourself.”

“JARVIS says I shouldn’t propose to Peggy,” said Steve. 

“Don’t,” said Tony. “Peggy is going to say no, it’s going to ruin your friendship. Just be friends.”

“I don’t want to be just her friend,” said Steve. 

“But you can’t be more,” said Tony, bringing to the doughnuts to the table.

“You don’t know that. I haven’t asked her yet.”

Tony shook his head, “I asked her if there was gonna be a you and her, she said no.”

“Well, I haven’t asked her,” said Steve. “Even if she says no, then at least I’ll know.”

“Okay, I’m going to stop this for you without you taking a knee and ruining your friendship. Okay? We’ll do it like a Band-Aid?” Steve nodded, and Tony said, “Okay, J, you’re going to mute our room if Steve is about to cry, got it?”

“Yes, Sir, shall I put in the call through?”

Steve nodded, “Yeah, JARVIS, please.”

Then Peggy’s voice said, “Steve?”

“No, Peg,” said Tony, chuckling. “I’m on Steve’s floor. I need you to put him out of his misery.”

“Okay,” she said. “Put him out of his misery by getting you out of his hair?”

“No,” said Tony. “I am trying to get Steve into the dating scene, but he keeps hinting that he’s reluctant because of you.”

“Oh, no, Steve, no. You shouldn’t start dating yet, you’re not ready. But I should certainly not be what holds you back. We could never be together. I had a whole beautiful, sad, messy, happy, amazing life and I want that for you. I would give anything to get you out of that plane. I would give anything. But I would never wish Daniel away. We had a happy marriage. We had an amazing life. And I want that for you, and you can’t have that with an old woman. But don’t start dating until you feel like it, like you’re ready. The future is a foreign country, learn the language before dating the natives, but when you feel comfortable, date, just not me. It took me years to get over you, it was years of crying. But I got over you. Tony, stop bullying Steve into dating. Steve, date whoever you like.” Then she fake whispered, “But if you’re using me as an excuse to get Tony off your back, then feel free to milk it.”

He laughed, and his voice didn’t shake as he said, “Thank you, Peggy.” 

The conversation disconnected, and Tony said, “Y’good?” Steve shook his head, “Better than if you had gotten down on a knee?” Steve nodded. “Well that’s something. Peg doesn’t need to know about the ring. You’ll meet someone amazing, Steve. When you are ready to date, don’t go to bars. I would say, best dating pool bet: X-Mansion. You don’t want to meet some girl in a bar who is interested in Captain America. You need someone amazing and out of the mainstream. A mutant would be a better fit. Because they’ll be interested in you for you… probably a little for your face and body but not the freak factor. You have to avoid the people who want you for the freak factor. You’re amazing, and you deserve someone amazing. I’m sorry the ice stole your chance with Peggy, but you will find someone who loves everything about you and who doesn’t seem horribly foreign.” Maybe it was time to move on. And maybe… well. Maybe it should be like a Band-Aid. Tony was smiling and held out the box of doughnuts. Steve leaned forward to kiss him, he was aiming for slow but Tony jolted back. “I’m not the amazing person, Steve.”

“You’re pretty great,” protested Steve. Maybe it wouldn’t go anywhere, but it was the truth. 

“That would mean more if the engagement ring weren’t on the table,” said Tony, seemingly trying to get Steve to laugh. 

“I think I should get my first time over with, and you’re great,” explained Steve.

“First time?” asked Tony.

“Dames never looked at me when I was five-two, then I was busy. And men… it was illegal, and there was one guy, but he wasn’t interested in me, not that way.”

“USO dancers?” asked Tony.

“By then, I had met Peggy.”

Tony nodded and said, “I’m not the guy you have your first time with. For a multitude of reasons. Not the least of which is that I’m seeing someone. We’re keeping it quiet because of Win.”

“I’m sorry. You flirt with everyone other than me, literally everyone other than me. You flirt with Rhodey and JARVIS — your best friend and your computer. And I thought that maybe you didn’t flirt with me because you liked me.”

Tony sucked air in through his teeth and shook his head slowly. “You’re my dead abusive father’s best friend who froze in the forties, Steve. I have no idea how to act around you. I didn’t think you would like a guy flirting with you as much as I flirt. Being gay was illegal when you went into the ice. You’re flummoxed every time you see me painting Win’s nails or complimenting his outfit. I want your transition into the present day to be comfortable. I assumed that a flirty guy would be uncomfortable for you. It’s not that I like you any more or less than everyone else. I do like you. But not that way. Sorry, but I am not the right guy for you, not by a country mile. But I’m a great wingman, I will introduce you to all sorts of lovely people when you’re ready to date.”

“I’m sorry I tried to kiss you, Tony.”

“It’s okay. Believe me, I’ve made way more than a few bad passes in my time. And if you like guys too, that way opens up your dating pool. Also, if you’re not sure if you should kiss someone, you can always ask. I mean, if someone has the ‘kiss me’ vibe screaming, it could maybe be a mood killer, but if it’s uncertain, just ask. It comes off as cute. And it clarifies things. If everything is screaming, ‘Go, go, go,’ and you’re leaning into each other then you don’t need to ask, because it could kill the moment, but otherwise saying, ‘May I kiss you?’ can be cute. Are we good?”

“We’re good,” said Steve.

“What do you want for dinner? Anything you like as long as it’s something Win will eat.”

“Do you know how to make matzo ball soup?” asked Steve, feeling self-conscious.

“I don’t, but Zabar’s does. J, order us a Zabar’s dinner, please. They make really good stuff,” said Tony with a smile.

“So you’re seeing someone?” asked Steve, searching for a topic of conversation.

“Well, he agreed to a date, and I like him. I mean, most of the sex I’ve had in my life has been drunk post-gala or post-premiere or post-charity auction. But this could be really meaningful. I might keep my pants on for several dates.”

“Wowza,” said Steve.

“Right? Personal growth.”

“I hope it works out,” said Steve.

Tony smiled, “Thanks. How is the drawing going?”

Steve smiled, grateful to Tony for changing the subject from dating completely. “Good, I’m practicing, getting skills back to where they were before the war. I want to make sure I deserve my old spot at school.” Steve nodded toward his living room and led the way to his beautiful drafting table. Tony carried the doughnuts with him. “I really appreciate everything you’ve done and are doing for me. Really, Tony. I know it must be hard after the way Howard spoke about me while hurting you.” He showed Tony the four drawings he had done, the view from each side of his apartment. “Having a three-sixty view of the city from up here, it’s breathtaking. I am relearning the city.”

“Yeah, ’cause you don’t have to see the ugly building you’re inside,” Tony was joking, said it with a grin.

Steve winced, “I’m sorry, Tony, I really am.”

“It must have been horrible, waking up back in your country, back in your own city, after fighting in the war for so long, and to find it all so different. Your neighborhood all changed, the cars, clothes, accents, behavior. Even the skyline betrayed you by changing. I think you’re damn impressive to be holding up.” 

“Fighting Hydra made sense. This fight, one that’s only lives in my head… I’m doing a combination of Prolonged Exposure, Cognitive Processing and Narrative Exposure Therapy. I’m doing all of it. But the thing is… I got into Howard’s terrifying machine, I saw a man rip his face off to reveal muscle while shouting that he was the superior race, I saw the camps and faces that were so thin, I got covered in so many people’s blood in so many fights, I saw my best friend — my brother — first tortured and then plummet to his death, I crashed a plane on purpose, I woke up and it was so surreal I thought I had died and gone to hell, and then — not even three weeks later — I had to led a group of amazing people into battle with aliens while pretending to be in control. So, which part of that is why I can’t sleep? The doctor is trying to help me figure it out. So, I am relearning the skyline, re-conceptualizing my world, reclaiming my life and reframing my narrative. It’s the four Rs of my recovery according to my doctor, she told me to call her Suzy, but I call her ‘Doctor.’ I like that it keeps it professional. I don’t know if she has noticed that recovery also starts with an R.”

Tony laughed. He offered the doughnuts to Steve and took one himself. He spoke through a mouthful, “Therapy sucks at first. Then you get addicted to it. It’s so helpful and so nice to talk about your problems with someone who doesn’t judge and doesn’t nag. The government is notoriously bad at helping vets. There’s a program to keep vets in therapy after the VA stops paying. It’s called Operation Let’s Talk. But you have SHIELD paying for your therapy: it’s in the contract. Have JARVIS make your appointment and tell the office to send the bill to SHIELD. You talk as long as you like. It really does help, and, nowadays, everyone is in therapy. There’s no shame, Steve, if that weighs on you.”

Nodding Steve said, “None of the guys in my Old Guard group go. But when I told them, they said that they wish PTSD had been recognized back in our day because they had seen how much good the treatment’s done for younger guys. I was kinda worried that they might… it was called a lack of moral fiber in our day, and I thought they might still think that, but they’ve all be very good about it. I had a party here, before you and Win came. A bottle of champagne popped. I dragged my friend Marty to the floor without even thinking. You hear an explosion you just cover the guy next to you. No one made fun of me for it.” He shrugged. Then he smiled, “Bruce came for a while, but I think he was probably bored, old guys drinking whiskey and gin and listening to music you kids don’t like. I had a great time. Maybe it seems a bit odd, maybe you think I should be going to bars.”

“No,” said Tony. “There is no rule book for ice time travel. If you’re happy, I think you’re doing it right. I have been on the list of Ten Sexiest Scientists every year since I was twenty-one. I have partied with royalty, supermodels and all different flavors of celebrities. I’ve done every drug, had sex on every continent and in every type of vehicle. I have gotten every type of award I could want. Y’know what I like best?” Steve shook his head. “Cooking dinner for my family. It’s so rare that I get to have them all together, Christmas and Win’s birthday. I was looking forward to Win’s sleepover almost as much as him. Those tattoos were kinda hard to get but I got excited. The important thing isn’t to be cool, it’s not to do what people expect, it’s to do what makes you happy and doesn’t hurt anyone. It took Rhodey a long, long time to convince me of that. It’s been years since I threw a good rager ’cause I’m too busy watching a shitty Pixar movie for the nine millionth time. If you like bocci and listening to your old music, do it. But, for your sake, don’t pull away from now, hang out with young people too. Because if you only hang out with the guys from that group, your social life is going to be over in about ten years and that’s not a happy ending.” 

Steve had to fight the urge to kiss Tony again. “JARVIS, would you please make us a pot of coffee?”

“Of course, Captain.”

“My coffee machine isn’t fancy. But JARVIS can control it,” Steve shrugged. It wasn’t an apology. His floor was what he wanted, he was just a warning Tony. He didn’t want the fancy coffee machine in his space. “Coffee and doughnuts are still a combination in the future.”

“I take my non-fancy coffee like a New Yorker of the ’90s: cream and two sugars, please,” said Tony. “Until about three years ago, any bodega you went into would hand you a coffee with milk and two sugars if you asked for a regular coffee. Now Starbucks screwed it all up.”

“I went into one of those with Clint. The huge board overwhelmed me. I asked for a coffee with milk. They asked me what ‘roast’ I would like and what kind of milk. I’m not going there again.”

Tony smiled, “I like fancy coffees, but you should stick to bodegas. They have decaf or regular, black or cream. Sometimes they have creamer instead. Those are your options.” 

“That’s easy, I’m a cream and two sugars guy too,” said Steve. 

“Captain,” said JARVIS, “your coffee is ready.” 

“Thank you, JARVIS,” said Steve. 

He walked back to the kitchen, and Tony said behind him, “Is that a drawing of your mother?”

Steve didn’t turn, knowing the answer, “Yeah, I don’t think there are any photos of her left, so that’s what I’ve got.”

“Dad had six photos of you and her together,” said Tony. Steve’s jaw dropped, “JARVIS, where did I dump all of Howard’s stalker collection? Where did you dig the trading cards out?”

“You donated it all to the Foundation’s archive, Sir.”

“Can you call and say ask them to send Steve’s stuff?” asked Tony.

“Of course, I’m sorry I didn’t suggest that, Captain,” said JARVIS.

“Yeah, me too,” said Tony.

Steve shook his head, gathering his emotions enough to look at Tony, “It’s been a weird time. I would love to see my mom, really, that would be amazing. Anything they have. I don’t want the memorabilia, Coulson likes that shit. I didn’t even back then. Leave that shit, but a photo of my mom? Yes, please.”

“Of course,” said Tony, “It’s horrible to think of a world where there are no photos of your mom. Moms are important.”

Steve busied himself with the coffee, wanting to give Tony a moment as he said, “I’m really sorry about your girlfriend.”

“Who?” asked Tony. 

“You never speak about Win’s mother,” said Steve.

Tony sounded amused, “You didn’t Google your teammates? Or ask JARVIS for reports?”

Steve said, “I don’t trust hearsay. Natasha’s report on you was made out of whole cloth. I’d rather hear it from you.” He handed Tony a mug and finally took a doughnut. 

“There’s been a lot of speculation about Win’s mother over the years. Everyone wants to know who she was, how much I paid her, if she was a fancy Russian prostitute because he has a Russian forehead — apparently. He was born via surrogate, and they find the mystery fascinating. It’s nothing exciting. She’s an ex-girlfriend. He doesn’t have a mom, there’s no sad backstory. There’s no mom on his birth certificate. It’s always been just me, and it’s never been sad. Moms are important, but not essential. So, you don’t have to be sad about my girlfriend. She’s my friendly ex, and I danced with her about six months ago at a charity ball. She asked me, ‘How is your little boy?’ I said, ‘He’s perfect. He has amazing genes. He’s perfect.’ She smiled, and I got her a glass of champagne.”

“Does Win know?”

“He knows he was made for me by an amazing lady who wasn’t his mom and that lots of families are different, some kids have a mom and a dad, or two moms or two dads, or just one or the other. Peter has an aunt, Kitty and Hank have Logan. He was born via surrogate. With today’s science, we can make babies without sex. I explained how doctors can do that combining materials from a man and woman and putting it inside a woman to cook a baby.”

Steve was pleased to understand something, “JARVIS told me about IVF and genetic testing. I don’t if the serum stopped me from having kids. JARVIS said that I can get tested if it becomes important. So did IVF take a long time?”

Tony laughed, shaking his head and Steve was lost again, “Did you know that if a woman is on the birth control pill and a man is wearing a condom, there is still a point oh oh six percent chance of pregnancy? I don’t believe in God or any higher power, so it’s hard to put into words. He’s not my miracle or a blessing. He’s just my improbable baby. He had a negligible chance of existing, and he’s more than I could have ever asked for.”

“So she is his mother? It was her egg?” asked Steve. He was surprised anyone wouldn’t want to claim such a sweet kid as their own. “And she doesn’t want him? How could she not want him?”

“Abortions are legal, Steve. And I don’t think a woman should be forced to do anything she doesn’t want to do with her body. She kept the pregnancy, that was far more than she owed him, considering how exceptionally unplanned he was. She brought him into this world and said that she would give him a kidney if he needs one in the future. She did more than enough and owes him nothing. She’s not his mother. And he doesn’t have her forehead. It’s his eyebrows that look like her to me. I’m his daddy, and I am a good daddy; she’s not his mom. She’s just the amazing lady who cooked him for me.” Tony pointed to the painting above the kitchen table, “That’s an artistic piece.” 

Steve laughed, looking at the messy painting, “He was so proud of covering the whole paper and not leaving white spots. He told me it was good enough to frame. He gave it to me with such pomp.” 

Tony laughed, “I tell him: I frame it when he’s very proud, and he doesn’t leave any empty bits. Otherwise, I would have to frame every scrap he hands me. I have to be discerning, or every inch of my wall would be covered in frames of receipts out of Pepper’s purse that he colored on the back of while waiting for his meal at a restaurant. You didn’t have to frame it.”

“It was a gift,” Steve said, he smiled at it, enjoying it. “I woke up thinking this might be hell, you gave me a beautiful home, and he gave me a painting. I wanted to frame it. It was a kind gift.” 

Tony smiled, “Well, feel free to switch it out for the next one he paints you. He’s not that observant. He’s four and a half: he gets distracted easily.”

“I’ll happily take a few more,” said Steve. “I promised him a picture too. But I have to think about it. He doesn’t want a skyline.”

“He’ll love it, whatever it is. He’s enthusiastic about everything.” Sipping his coffee, Tony reached for the ring box. “May I?” Steve nodded. Tony opened it and said, “Lovely.” It was simple, a round diamond surrounded by a circle of sapphires. “What are you going to do with it?”

“I was told all sales are final,” Steve shrugged, looking at it. “Think Win wants it for dress-up?”

“I have no doubt he would love it. But a boy who has lost his shoes while wearing them shouldn’t be given a diamond ring,” Tony said. 

Laughing, Steve raised an eyebrow, “How do you lose shoes while wearing them?”

“If I knew the answer to that, my kid wouldn’t have lost four individual shoes.” Shrugging Tony said, “You’d think with the nails and the tutus, he’d like tea parties and baby dolls. But he is a rough and tumble kid. All about the aesthetic, not the lifestyle. My cleaning robots can do anything except sort dirty laundry. It’s very irritating. They can do the laundry and fold it, but they can’t sort it. It used to not matter: everything nice I own that I care about not ruining the color of is dry clean only. But, now, he has a million pale t-shirts, delicate tutus and dark hoodies. And every time I separate his laundry, I get to play the fun game: blood, chocolate or mud. One of those three substances is on practically every piece of his laundry. You would think that a kid who likes facials that much would never have scabby knees, but he’s always got scrapes. I would be worried about child services, but paparazzi have gotten enough pictures of him face planting that people understand he’s a clumsy and very active kid.”

Steve smiled at Tony. He liked Win, he was a fun kid. “Maybe I can get a jeweler to turn it into a pendant that I could give her for Christmas, not an engagement ring, just a pretty necklace.”

“Sir, Master Edwin is awake,” said JARVIS.

“Y’wanna come to the park with me and Win?” asked Tony.

“No, thank you though, I told Clint I would spar with him.”

“You sure? We’re going to feed the ducks.” 

Steve smiled, “I’m good, thank you for your help, Tony. I needed it.”

“We’re friends, I want to help you; I want to be your friend. I think it’s awesome you and JARVIS are getting close — not enough people are friendly with him — but if you need eye contact while talking about problems, never hesitate to come to me. You woke in the wrong time but, nowadays, Bruce is irradiated, Peter’s irradiated and all these mutants live publicly. You’re not alone in being different anymore. And, as a guy with an engine in his chest to the only guy to survive the super soldier project, we don’t understand your exact situation. Still, we understand being different, and sometimes we all need a little help. You sure about the ducks?”

“Positive, you have fun.”

Once Tony was gone, Steve said, “JARVIS, thank you.”

“Of course, Captain. If you are still interested in human company, might I suggest the dance studio? Agent Romanoff is dancing, and your new tap shoes came yesterday,” JARVIS knew he didn’t have plans with Clint. 

He smiled, “Okay, a little tap would maybe make me grounded again. Peggy said no, JARVIS.”

“Yes, but she doesn’t know about the ring, so it’s still okay.”

“I wanted to marry her,” said Steve.

“I know, but at least she’s still your friend.”

“I wanted to be her husband.” 

“I know.”

“Shoes?” he asked.

“In the dance studio.” 

Steve hadn’t danced in a while, not seriously, but if Win wanted lessons, Steve was going to have to get back to form. He went down to the dance studio and almost ran into Bruce. The man was holding material, and Bruce said, “Hulk ripped my yoga swing this morning. What are you up to?”

“Embarrassing myself,” said Steve, shrugging. 

Bruce smiled, “What did you do?”

Lowering his voice, he said, “Tony is seeing someone. But, I didn’t know because it’s new and they are apparently keeping it quiet, and I tried to kiss him, and he stopped me but-” Bruce held up a hand in front of him in an unmistakable sign to stop.

“Steve,” Bruce seemed to breathe slowly. “Listen very carefully. Without turning your back on me, and without making eye contact, walk very slowly into one of the rooms on the left. I need a clear shot to the elevator. J, can you get the door please?” 

“Bruce, I,” Steve started, realizing his mistake, but Bruce interrupted him with a gentle shushing noise.

“Hushhhhh,” he said, pulling the word out. “No talking just move slowly because all that’s stands between Hulk ripping your head off for kissing Tony before we’ve even been on a date is a very thin membrane of pink skin. Don’t talk. Just get out of my way and do what I said.”

Steve backed into a room, eyes down, very slowly. The elevator door opened and Bruce ran to it. Steve poked his head out of the room as the door shut, seeing Bruce ripping off his shirt, skin going green.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel badly for poor Steve but I think it's important, in this 'verse about mental health to have Steve deal with his issues and have to face them head on. Also, I know this is short but next week is Hulk's POV! 
> 
> I liked writing Tony's polite shut down. I think it's another way of showing his stability. He knows how to let someone down firmly but gently.


	5. Chapter 5

Stupid American kissed tiny Tony. Not supposed to. Tiny Tony supposed to only like stupid Banner and hug Hulk. Kissing was gross, but tiny Tony wanted to kiss stupid Banner, and stupid Banner wanted to kiss too, so it was okay. But tiny Tony almost kissed stupid American. Hulk wanted to tear things apart, he wanted to break and rip, and he went into his breaking room that tiny Tony had made just for him. “We’ll build a perfect floor for the Banner boys.” That’s what tiny Tony had said. 

Hulk smashed vases and Cleo’s old fishbowl and ripped sheets and broke wooden boards. He picked up something to tear and then saw it was his Hawk Ted. He kissed its purple mask and hugged it close, “Tiny Tony didn’t kiss stupid American?” Hulk asked. 

“No, Hulk. Sir only wants to kiss Dr. Banner,” JARVIS’ voice was gentle, nice. “He wouldn’t kiss anyone else. He moved away the moment he realized Captain Rogers was aiming to kiss him. Sir only wants to kiss Dr. Banner and hug you.”

“Hulk never gets nice things,” Hulk sulked.

“Sir is a very nice thing, and you have him. He cares so much for you. He doesn’t want Captain Rogers; he’s friends with the captain, but he cares so, so deeply for you and Dr. Banner. Dr. Banner is his science bro, and you are one of his absolute favorites. He’s a nice thing that you get. You have him, Hulk.”

“Hulk doesn’t kiss like grownup,” Hulk said, worried but also grimacing at the thought.

“Sir doesn’t want to kiss you; you’re a little boy, just like Master Win. Sir wants to hug you but not kiss you. He wants to kiss Dr. Banner. He’s not going anywhere. You’ve got him.” The voice paused, and then JARVIS said, “Sir is at your door. He would like to come in.”

“Tiny Tony, little Win, duckies.”

“They went to feed the ducks, but I alerted him to your distress. You’re far more important than ducks to either of them. May Sir enter?” Hulk nodded, cuddling his Hawk Ted. 

Tiny Tony came and gave him a gentle smile, “Hey, big guy. Rough day?”

“Stupid American is stupid.”

Tiny Tony nodded, “He made a mistake. He tried to kiss someone who didn’t want to kiss him. He made a mistake, and he was really embarrassed. I didn’t tell Bruce because I knew Steve was sorry and wouldn’t do it again. I didn’t want to embarrass him, and it didn’t matter. If he had hurt me, or kissed me, or upset me, I would have told Bruce, but I didn’t want to upset my Banner boys over nothing. I also didn’t tell either of you that I stubbed my toe in the shower, and it bled a little, and I ran out of cream this morning. And, honestly, not having cream for my coffee was the most upsetting thing to happen to me today. People make unwanted passes at me, not infrequently. All you need to know is that I won’t ever catch that pass. I want to kiss Bruce, and I can wait for as long as I have to for him to not be radioactive.”

“Hulk sorry,” said Hulk, looking at his feet, embarrassed that he was wrong. 

“For what? Duckpond will be there tomorrow; you didn’t hurt the stupid American. You don’t have anything to be sorry for, honey.” 

“Radioactive,” Hulk shrugged.

“Hey, don’t apologize for who you are or how you came to be,” Tony’s eyebrows knit together. “You were born into a nuclear blast. And I like you. I’m thrilled I get to be your friend. We just gotta make it so I can kiss Bruce. That’s all. You’re amazing; there’s no need to say sorry. Are you chilly? It’s a little cold in here, and you should be comfy. I made you those cozy sweats and hoodies. Why don’t you pick an outfit, and I’ll make a huge pot of mac and cheese for us?”

“Little Win come?” asked Hulk, hopefully. Maybe little Win would come, and it would make everyone happy.

“I’m sure Win would love to come play,” said tiny Tony, smiling. Tiny Tony’s whole face was happy when he smiled. “Go put on some clothes.” 

“Pretty,” said Hulk.

Tiny Tony nodded, “Your clothes are very pretty.”

“No,” Hulk poked tiny Tony’s cheek.

“Wow, thank you, sweetie. Your smile is pretty too. Go get comfy cozy.”

Hulk left, but he listened, scared that tiny Tony might be angry. He heard tiny Tony say, “JARVIS, please ask Edwin if he would like to have a playdate.”

“Master Edwin is gathering all his teddies to meet Hulk’s teddies,” replied the ceiling robot.

“Good call: teddy bear’s picnic,” said tiny Tony, Hulk could hear the pretty smile. “Do the Banners have a huge blanket?” 

“There are several double king spreads in the airing closet,” said the ceiling robot.

“J, can you get a dumb robot to gather what I need from the kitchen to make mac and cheese and bake a cake, please? I’d like to bake a cake with the boys.”

“You have everything to make a funfetti cake.”

“Cool,” said Tony. Hulk bounded out of his rooms in a hoodie, sweats and slippers.

“Cake?” asked Hulk.

“Funfetti cake: that’s the kind that’s got all different colors in it.”

The elevator dinged. And Hulk smiled. “Little Win here,” said Hulk grinning as the elevator door opened. Little Win was pushing a little red wheelbarrow with Avenger and X-Men Teddies.

“I thought my teddies could have a playdate with your teddies,” said little Win, grinning. 

Hulk liked the smile. Little Win wasn’t upset about the duckies, “So smart. Fun.”

“You’re a really good friend, Hulk,” said little Win. “Should we go to your playroom?”

“Playroom danger,” said Hulk. He had smashed and ruined it. He hung his head. “Hulk sorry.”

“Well, it’s your playroom, Hulk,” said Tony, “it’s okay for you to make it a mess. You have cleaning robots. Are you done breaking stuff today? If so, just tell JARVIS to release the robots. If not, you guys can play out here. It’s okay if you aren’t done breaking stuff. That’s your playroom, and breaking stuff makes you feel better. We all do stuff when we need to feel better. You don’t have to feel sorry. Nothing is wrong, honey.”

Hulk relaxed a little and nodded, “JARVIS, robots, please.”

“Of course, Hulk.” Robots zoomed by, and little Win laughed, Hulk stayed still not wanting to smash robot by mistake. 

Tiny Tony gave him a gentle smile, “Would you two like to help me bake a cake while the robots work?”

Little Win lit up, but Hulk felt nervous. “Don’t know how,” he said. He didn’t want to ruin the fun. He had already ruined the duckies. Now he would ruin the cake, and tiny Tony and little Win would be sad. They wouldn’t want to be his friend if he ruined the duckies and the cake all in one day.

“That’s okay, it’s so much fun,” said tiny Tony, gently. “We’ll do it together. There’s nothing we can’t do together. J, show us the recipe, please.” A hologram hung in the air, and Hulk poked it, making it spin and he laughed. He didn’t know it was going to spin. Tony grinned at him, pretty smile. Hulk poked it again, making it spin faster. Tony’s smile got wider. “Want a dance party?” That made Hulk happy. “Drop a beat, J.” There weren’t lasers on his floor, but the holograms did allow the lab triplets to join in the fun. Between songs, tiny Tony said, “Hulk, what music do you like?”

Hulk thought and said, “Monkees.” JARVIS started playing the theme song from the show came on, and he danced happily. Tiny Tony moved around the kitchen, getting out bowls, measuring cups, wooden spoons. As I’m a Believer ended, Hulk said, “Fun music.”

“Really fun,” agreed little Win. “You need a full playlist like the rest of us. We all need playlists we like.” Little Win had a pretty smile too. Little Win and tiny Tony weren’t angry that they didn’t see the duckies.

Hulk paid careful attention, wanting to make the cake good. He and little Win helped tiny Tony with pouring and stirring. Just as tiny Tony was putting the three cake pans in the oven, the robots came out of the playroom. “Excellent, why don’t you boys go play, and I’ll make us mac and cheese?”

The kitchen was messy with flour, eggshells and milk puddles. “Clean?” asked Hulk. When the kitchen was messy, his dad got mad at his mom and mad at him. The kitchen was messy. Tiny Tony wouldn’t hit him. Tiny Tony wouldn’t shout. Tiny Tony was nice. Always nice. Never mean. Tiny Tony was good. “Hulk clean mess?” 

Tiny Tony smiled, “No, you two go play. The robots will help me.” Hulk looked around. It was very messy. “Hey,” tiny Tony called Hulk’s attention back to him, “JARVIS says you have big blankets, when I call you boys, can you please stretch one out and arrange your teddies so we can have a picnic? Would you do that job for me, please?” Hulk nodded, and tiny Tony grinned, “Go play.”

He took little Win’s hand, and they skipped together to the playroom, “Want to build something with your cardboard blocks and knock it down?” asked little Win. Hulk shook his head. “Why not? You like smashing things.”

“Too much smash,” said Hulk. “No smash.”

“Okay,” little Win nodded. “Want to build three walls and then put a blanket over the top and have a fort?”

He thought of a good idea, but it was big, and the words were big, and it took him time, “Christmas sparkles, nighttime fort.”

Little Win said, “I don’t know what that means. Christmas sparkles?”

“Little sparkles, top of fort,” Hulk said. Then he said, “JARVIS?”

“I believe what Hulk means is that he has twinkle light and if you strung them over the fort, but under the blanket, you could have it be nighttime. But, dear sirs, perhaps put down the big blanket first and build your fort around it, then you can have your teddy bear picnic inside your night time fort.”

“Wow, great ideas, Hulk and JARVIS!” said little Win. “Great ideas!”

Hulk got the big blanket and the sparkle lights out of the high closet, and little Win gathered up the cardboard blocks. They worked together, building the walls. He lifted little Win to put on the top blocks. He held little Win up so they could loop the lights back and forth. Then he put the biggest blanket over the top. “JARVIS, make light little, please.” The lights dimmed, and he said, “Night, calm, nightmare noise?” JARVIS started the noise of the crickets and the breeze through trees.

“Crickets give you nightmares?” asked little Win.

Hulk shook his head, “No, after. Calm and nice and sleep again.”

“Oh, after I have a nightmare, Daddy and I have milk.”

“Boys,” tiny Tony called, “Can you put out the blanket, please?”

“Done,” Hulk called back. 

“Great,” tiny Tony came in with a tray with a big bowl and two little ones. “Wow, boys, beautiful. It’s the teddy bear’s camping trip. Great job!” The three of them got in the fort, and tiny Tony said, “It’s so cool.”

“Hulk thought of the lights and making it nighttime,” said little Win. “Way better than going to the duck pond!”

“A playdate is always going to be better than a duck pond,” agreed tiny Tony. “But, maybe, sometime the three of us can go to the ducks together.” They ate together, giggling. Tiny Tony ended up sitting between the two Iron Teddies.

Pointing, he said, “Three metal men.” 

Tiny Tony laughed and moved both the Gorgeous Greens to be by Hulk. “Three Hulks,” said Tony. 

Once they had finished tiny Tony said, “Do you boys want to help me decorate the cake?”

“We can?” asked Hulk. “Won’t be pretty.”

“Sure, it will be. It will look like we made something together. It’s gonna be great. I can’t wait for us to see it. Y’wanna help?” Hulk nodded slowly. In the kitchen, he saw that it was so clean, and he felt bad for the mess. He wasn’t going to make a mess again. Tony wouldn’t have to clean up again. “So, I was thinking, as it’s three layers and there’s three of us, maybe we could do three colors. What do you think?”

“Blue,” said little Win.

“Okay, Hulk, what about you?”

Hulk knew what other people thought of him, he knew what was expected of him. “Green,” he said.

“Is that the color you want?” asked tiny Tony. “I have brown hair and brown eyes, but I’m going to have red. If you want green, you can have green. But, you don’t have to have green.”

Hulk said, “Purple.” He worried tiny Tony might be sad that he didn’t want green, but tiny Tony smiled. 

“Cool, we can have a cake that fades, ‘cause red and blue mix to purple, so maybe we can have it look like it’s fading. It might not work, it might be messy, but it’s gonna taste great, and we made it together. Those are the most important things.” Tiny Tony put white icing into bowls and added food coloring in tiny drops. He handed him and little Win wooden spoons and said, “Mix, mix, mix, boys.” Tiny Tony put jam in the layers of the cake with sure hands. Hulk wanted hands that sure. Tiny Tony put white icing on the cake and said, “This is how the professionals do it. I think it, like, seals it or something. I didn’t know. The cool thing is, when you’re with friends, it’s a-okay to mess up or not be certain.”

The cake ended up messy, Hulk worried it might be disappointing, but he liked the purple, it was a pretty purple. And tiny Tony said, “Wow, guys. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a better cake. Look at what we made together.”

“Cake time?” asked Hulk, hopefully.

“Cake time,” agreed tiny Tony, getting plates and a knife. He cut into it and said, “Cool, look at that!” It was filled with pretty color spots. 

“Pretty,” said Hulk happily.

“Good work, team,” said tiny Tony.

“Daddy, can we eat in our fort?” asked little Win. 

“Sure,” agreed tiny Tony. “Hulk, please get forks.”

They ate their cake in their fort, with the teddies. Afterward, Hulk said, “Hulk go now.”

“You sure, buddy?” asked tiny Tony. 

“Pills for Banner?” asked Hulk. He thought they were stupid, but he knew, somewhere underneath that, they helped Bruce and helping Bruce wasn’t too bad. 

“If you want to,” said tiny Tony. “Or you can hang around. I could read your boys a story, or we could go swimming? You only have to go if you want to go.”

Hulk was done, Hulk had had fun, and now he wanted to sleep. “Pills and go, please,” said Hulk decisively.

“Okay, sweetie, whatever you want,” tiny Tony smiled. “We love having you. We love it, but we don’t want to keep you somewhere you don’t want to be.” Tiny Tony stood, which let him kiss Hulk’s forehead as he was sitting. “Let me go get your pills. I really appreciate that you help Bruce. I know that I don’t know how hard it is for you two, but it’s really impressive that you help him. As someone cares about both of you, I really like it when you play nice.” He kissed Hulk’s forehead again. 

Once he left, little Win said, “If you stay, we can have a sleepover.”

“No, Hulk go now,” said Hulk, sure of it. He wanted to be asleep. Tiny Tony came back with pills and a glass. Hulk took the pills and hugged tiny Tony close as he let the world fade to black. Bruce felt the world come back into full focus, it wasn’t too loud or too bright. He heard crickets and saw starlight. Blinking the world seemed wrong, he was being hugged, and it felt amazing to be held. “We camping?” asked Bruce. 

“No, Bruce. Hulk and Win made a fort. Christmas lights and a soundtrack make it camping,” explained Tony, his face was close and his smile warm. “How are you, handsome?”

Bruce thought about it and said, “Win, I’m going to steal Daddy for a boring grownup talk.”

“I’ll sort out my teddies from your teddies and go to the lab and see what Peter’s up to,” said Win. He really did understand the concept of autonomy and that not being included wasn’t the same as being excluded. 

Tony gently helped him stand with a hand on his elbow. “I taste cake,” said Bruce. 

“We baked a cake,” said Tony. Heading to the kitchen, he said, “How are you feeling? Would you like a slice?”

“I feel groggy but pretty good: like I woke up from a nap after running and not stretching afterward. I feel pretty good. Yes, I would like cake.” 

Tony cut him a slice and said, “I didn’t see you after Steve tried to-”

“You don’t have to explain, I’m horribly embarrassed,” said Bruce. He felt his face blush at the thought.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, at all,” said Tony, handing him the cake. “You got blindsided; I’m so sorry.” He lowered his voice, “He wanted to propose to Peggy. I talked him out of it and was saying how great he is and how he deserves someone amazing, and he tried to kiss me. It was nothing, I explained that I’m seeing someone, he apologized. It was nothing. I would have sought you out to tell you if he had actually kissed me, but nothing happened and it meant so little to me. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m so sorry. I hope that, once you’re not radioactive, you’ll still consider going on a date with me.” 

“I don’t blame you, Tony, I don’t. I’m not even angry at Steve. It happens. Anyone would want to kiss you; you’re amazing. It’s just… there’s a part of me… He’s Captain America, Tony. And I’m just a guy with a split personality and bad blood. I know you like me, I do, but… things don’t work out for me, and there’s this amazing guy who Captain America wants.”

Tony gave him an amused smile, “Order of white rice.”

“What?” asked Bruce, not understanding what it meant. 

“He’s a great guy, no doubt. He is. But he is so dull and kind of a goody-two-shoes. And he has life experience — I mean, he fought the Nazis and lost people — but he’s also a kid in his twenties. I’m so done being in someone’s first. I’m a man in my forties with a kid I don’t date kids. And he’s nice, sure, but… he’s a white bread and mayo sandwich. I understand that he’s a great guy, but I don’t want the great guy Captain Steve Rogers; I want the exceptional Dr. Bruce Banner. I don’t want the blond beefcake. It’s boring. Been there, done that. He’s boring. And then there’s the whole daddy baggage. He was friends with Howard, and Howard was the worst to me and the best to him. I don’t even want to touch that with a fifty-foot pole. He’s also got a whole host of history and PTSD issues that are exhausting. I don’t mean that dismissively or whatever, it’s just, I spent years working on me. And I need someone on my level. I need someone who has their shit together. A guy who is still learning the first steps? That’s exhausting. I want a guy who has his routine, maybe, y’know: yoga and self-hypnosis. I want a grownup who doesn’t need me to hold his hand every step of the way. I am happy to help a friend through this, to cheerlead for Steve, but… I could never tell him when I was having a rough time because he’s going through rougher, and he doesn’t have the tools yet. I want a grownup. I want someone to lean on and who knows how to lean on others. I want the brilliant, sexy man with the pretty curls and gorgeous smile. I want your lovely teeth leaving imprints on my skin. I want a fun scientist with an amazing sense of humor and hands that I want on my body. I want the biting sarcasm; I want your irritation. I want playdates with Hulk. I want you. You don’t have to worry about the Steves of this world. And before you get in your head, you can also erase the Elon Musks and Brian Coxes, too. I want you. I really want you. I am going to put out on the first date, if you want me. It’s been over four years.”

“It’s been over a decade. Our first date should be in bed.”

Tony smiled, “I just hope that you are interested in a single dad who has slept his way around the world. Is a slutty, ex heavy drinker who is a therapy junkie interesting to you?” 

“For so long, I didn’t really care that I was toxic… I want to get naked with you, then cook your breakfast and play in the lab. I want you.” Bruce took a bite of the cake and said, “That is delicious, but it looks like a war crime.”

“Hey: we did our best, and we were pretty pleased with the results,” Tony gave him a smile, but it didn’t quite ring true. 

“What’s wrong?” asked Bruce.

“Nothing, Hulk just makes me sad sometimes. He was worried about messing up the cake, so worried about disappointing me, or making a mess. No little kid should have that much self-doubt. I want to murder your father.”

“He died in prison, fifteen years to the day that he murdered my mother. Good riddance. Sorry, if Hulk says things.”

Tony quickly shook his head, “Don’t apologize. Hulk is a sweet kid, so nice, so fun. He thought of the nighttime fort. I never upset with him. I just… I’m very glad your dad is dead. I am going to keep being kind and patient with him. At some point, he will realize that he doesn’t have to be so nervous. Do you know what kind of foods he likes? With his limited vocabulary, and the fact that he’s worried about giving me the wrong answer, I can’t really ask him. I just make him kid food. I just want him to have as much fun here and be as comfortable as possible when he’s playing with us.”

“My mom was a Betty Crocker believer, lots of casseroles, meatloaf, American tacos. Middle America cuisine. No sushi or anything exotic; he tolerates it, but he doesn’t like it.”

“I can do that, easy,” Tony smiled. 

“You really do like the times he’s around?” asked Bruce.

Tony grinned, “He’s awesome. He’s such a nice kid. He’s fun, he’s a good friend to Win. I really like him. I’m not nice to him for your sake. I like your other personality, in a very different way than I like you. But, no less. I am happy to know Hulk, and I like spending time with him. I think he’s really fun to hang out with when he’s not so nervous, and I am going to keep working to make him less nervous around us.”

“Sorry.”

“Hey, I’ve got a kid, you’ve got a kid. I love Hulk. He’s a lovely person. Don’t apologize. He isn’t baggage; he’s a part of you. He’s a great kid. Do you know how old he is? I don’t mean chronologically, I mean mentally.”

“I’d say he’s about six, probably, desires wise and comprehension. But he’s not… learning disabled, but he’s slow; it takes him a while to get to new ideas but his comprehension. He is about six, and he does learn. I think he was about three when he first came into being. A decade later, he’s around six.”

“He made a really good nighttime fort,” Tony smiled. “He called the twinkle lights ‘Christmas sparkles.’ He’s a good kid. I love it when he comes for playdates. Never doubt that. His presence isn’t being suffered. We love when he comes, me and Win.”

Bruce breathed out slowly, “Good, okay, good. He likes you too, he really likes you. He likes knowing that, when he comes out, he can see you and not just break things.”

“He broke a whole lot of stuff before I got here,” Tony smiled. He really was a gorgeous man.

“Well, the stupid American tried to kiss tiny Tony,” said Bruce, honestly. “The stupid American shouldn’t try to kiss tiny Tony.”

“I’m five-nine, you’re maybe half an inch taller than me.”

“You’re not tiny to me, Tony. You’re tiny to Hulk. I don’t think Steve is stupid, but Hulk does, and he smashed things so that he didn’t smash Steve. Because he wanted to smash Steve, but he knows that, on some level, he likes Steve. But Steve tried to kiss you, and I can’t kiss you, and I want to kiss you.”

“I want to kiss you, Bruce. But I will happily take hanging out as the next best thing. Win and I were going to go feed ducks and grab hotdogs. Instead, we baked a cake, and the boys made a fort. I made us mac and cheese, and we had a teddy bear campout. You and Hulk don’t need to feel threatened by Steve. And I’m sorry that any of this happened, but at least one part of you got to have a good time this afternoon.”

“Was the teddy bear campout really good for you? You got those tattoos printed for his sleepover. You always seem so pumped.”

Tony smiled and ducked his head, huffing a laugh. “A teddy bear camp out doesn’t thrill me. But seeing them build something together, talking Hulk into making the cake his favorite color and not just green, making them laugh? That does it for me. That really does it for me. I always liked kids well enough, they’re fun. But, then I got one I didn’t have to share or give back to a parent at the end of a conversation. And it was the best thing ever. And, yeah, empirically speaking, a teddy bear campout is better than a duck pond and a hotdog. All three of us had fun. My fun was different than theirs, but it was fun… is it okay that I talk about Hulk as a separate person from you, or is that offensive to you?” 

“I think of Hulk as separate too,” said Bruce. “I used to think I could somehow disassemble him and put his parts back into me if I worked hard enough, but that’s not true; he’s there. He exists, and he’s not me. He’s the damage my father did to me, and he is healing. But, he isn’t just me anymore; for a decade, he has existed and had a life. Hell, now he has playdates. So, no, it’s not offensive; he is a very separate person.”

“It’s a shame you don’t get to have playdates with him and Win. You get to have him during meditation, but you don’t get to have him when he’s playing. I wish you could be at their playdates. They’re so cute together. Hulk is adorable when he’s happy. Both the Banner boys are adorable when they’re happy.” Tony smiled and then leaned back, “You’re radioactive, and I can’t kiss you.”

“My timer is going off in five minutes,” said Bruce. “Want to go down to my lab and take a look?” 

“Yes, I always want to be in a lab with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have the next story ready in a couple of weeks. For now I hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> I hope you are all safe and well. I would love to hear from you. I always appreciate comments. How is everyone holding up?


End file.
